Reluctant to Adopt

Fortunately, Brian and I came to the decision to adopt together.  It was a joint decision and we were both on board.  However, it is not uncommon for a spouse to be reluctant.  How can you and your spouse work through the situation?

7 Tips to Help Ease a Spouse's Reluctance 

www.theadoptionguide.com

1. Acknowledge your spouse's concerns and fears; try to listen with interest, not judgment.
2. Air and discuss the differences between you, rather than trying to cover them up or smooth them over.
3. Don't take a spouse's initial reaction as the final word.  When a subject is emotionally charge, people often say things they don't really mean.
4. Give a spouse time and space to consider issues as they arise; recognize that people approach change at different speeds.
5. Find a support group of other couples considering adoption.  Hearing that they, too, have reservations may help.
6. If your spouse isn't providing the support and encouragement you need to cope with the rocky adoption process, seek it from a sympathetic friend or relative.
7. See a marriage counselor if you have trouble navigating any of these issues.  A reluctant spouse may hear questions and advice better from a neutral observer.

For more information on how to communicate with a reluctant spouse or relative visit www.adoptivefamilies.com/reluctantfamily to read L. Millbrand's article.  

Find An Adoption Attorney

How do I find an adoption attorney?  I have been contacted and asked this question many times.  There are many websites you can use to find a reputable lawyer.  I would recommend the following.

Super Lawyers - Super Lawyers is searchable by practice area and location.  Super Lawyers are identified and rated by their peers as preeminent in their field.
American Bar Association - Locate the contact information for your local bar association.  Your bar association will most likely have a referral list of adoption attorneys.
Martindale-Hubbell - Attorneys listed with Martindale-Hubbell are rated and reviewed by their peers.   You can search attorneys by location and practice area.
American Academy of Adoption Attorneys- AAAA is a national association of adoption attorneys.  The member directory can be used to locate an attorney near you.

It is common for attorneys to provide an initial consult for free.  Use the initial consult as an opportunity to meet and interview potential lawyers.  Also, I would contact local adoption agencies, advocacy groups, and adoptive parents to ask for their recommendations.  It is important to do your research to locate a lawyer who will put your needs first.  Adoption is a costly endeavor and legal fees should be kept to a minimum.  I would ask any attorney you interview whether they bill on an hourly basis or a flat fee.  A flat fee may be negotiable and more cost effective for you.

You will want to verify your attorney has successfully completed adoptions in the past and will be able to assure you proper paperwork will be filed and completed providing you peace of mind.  Finding a good attorney may require time and research on your part.  It will be well worth the effort.

Updated: Baby In Waiting

The latest on the baby in Florida.

Re: [Adoption_a_gift_of_love] AA Baby Girl....

Sat, February 6, 2010 8:28:19 PM

From:	Jacki Henry
To:	Adoption_a_gift_of_love@yahoogroups.com

I recieved a call this late afternoon and a family has been identified and placed with this precious baby.

Thank you all for your interest. I will hold onto your emails and let you know if another situation arises.

Blessings,

Jacki

"Successful mothers are not the ones who have never struggled. They are the ones who never give up, despite the struggles."

A Baby In Waiting

An email received a few moments ago:

From: momforever6
To: Adoption_a_gift_of_love@yahoogroups.com 
Sent: Sat, February 6, 2010 11:00:43 AM 
Subject: [Adoption_a_gift_of_love] AA Baby Girl....

We need a Home Study ready Family....Now, Today...she is ready to leave the hospital. She is in Florida...
Contact me through email and I will put you in touch with the Attorney..


Blessings,
Jacki  

jacki122464@yahoo.com

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