I ♡ adoption and Adoption Affiliates!
7/30/10
Makes Me Smile
I received my second email in a week from someone I have referred to Adoption Affiliates and has now contacted them or began working with them. I couldn't be happier! Please keep me updated on the progress of your adoptions and I will also expect an email full of pictures of your little ones when they arrive.
I ♡ adoption and Adoption Affiliates!
I ♡ adoption and Adoption Affiliates!
That's A New One?!
Generally, if I get an email/comment from a hater it is usually someone who is anti adoption. I've entered a new realm of dislike, I am now disliked by hopeful adoptive parents. I have made it look too easy, while others have waited years to be parents.
I will not apologize, I have done nothing wrong. We went through the process, we received no special treatment, we tried for several years for biological children before moving to adoption.
Yes, our adoptions have moved along rather swiftly. It just so happened to be that way. We jumped through the hoops and completed our tasks as quickly as possible. We wanted to have our side of the process done so our profiles could be shown immediately.
We used an agency and have paid our adoption fees like everyone else. Choosing to locate a birth mother on your own, adopting through foster care, or using a large agency with many clients may increase your wait. Each adoption situation is different and when selecting an adoption route do your research and be realistic about your waiting period. We always expected to wait a year or longer, we just happened to be chosen sooner rather than later.
I have empathy for those who have suffered through infertility, I have done so myself. I have empathy for those who are waiting for their children. When we began our waiting periods we never knew if our wait would be a month or a year.
Our third adoption is in the works but it is not set in stone. The tides may turn and the birth mother may never contact the agency again, move away, or decide to parent. I am painfully aware of this, we have been through a failed placement.
I began this blog to answer questions, post resources, and share our experiences. Please do not begrudge me or my family for our adoption placements, we have been blessed and I can explain it no other way than that. If you do not like my blog or my posts move along and make room for someone else who does. Thanks!
I will not apologize, I have done nothing wrong. We went through the process, we received no special treatment, we tried for several years for biological children before moving to adoption.
Yes, our adoptions have moved along rather swiftly. It just so happened to be that way. We jumped through the hoops and completed our tasks as quickly as possible. We wanted to have our side of the process done so our profiles could be shown immediately.
We used an agency and have paid our adoption fees like everyone else. Choosing to locate a birth mother on your own, adopting through foster care, or using a large agency with many clients may increase your wait. Each adoption situation is different and when selecting an adoption route do your research and be realistic about your waiting period. We always expected to wait a year or longer, we just happened to be chosen sooner rather than later.
I have empathy for those who have suffered through infertility, I have done so myself. I have empathy for those who are waiting for their children. When we began our waiting periods we never knew if our wait would be a month or a year.
Our third adoption is in the works but it is not set in stone. The tides may turn and the birth mother may never contact the agency again, move away, or decide to parent. I am painfully aware of this, we have been through a failed placement.
I began this blog to answer questions, post resources, and share our experiences. Please do not begrudge me or my family for our adoption placements, we have been blessed and I can explain it no other way than that. If you do not like my blog or my posts move along and make room for someone else who does. Thanks!
7/29/10
Disruption
Well, we are set to begin a complete disruption of our life. We finalized things with the contractor yesterday and he will begin work on our home Wednesday. The boys and I will be "moving out" during the process. It will be impossible to keep our boys away from home all day and out of the construction crew's way. Boys are curious little individuals who like to know what is going on all around them. So, we will move in with my parents for two weeks.
The time away will give the contractor around the clock access to our home allowing him to work into the wee hours if necessary to get it all completed in the two week time frame. My husband will stay and oversee the project while working at his office.
We are pretty sure this is all going to cause the birth mother to go into labor early. If that happens, I will hurry home and live out of a hotel if necessary. You see, my parents live out of state and we will not be able to bring the baby to their home if she decides to make her appearance early.
I told you we live on the edge. We are trying to get the home completed before the baby is born so everyone can come home to a nice updated house. I am pretty excited about the idea of leaving the house one way and coming home to everything having been redone. Let's cross our fingers and toes it all works out!
The time away will give the contractor around the clock access to our home allowing him to work into the wee hours if necessary to get it all completed in the two week time frame. My husband will stay and oversee the project while working at his office.
We are pretty sure this is all going to cause the birth mother to go into labor early. If that happens, I will hurry home and live out of a hotel if necessary. You see, my parents live out of state and we will not be able to bring the baby to their home if she decides to make her appearance early.
I told you we live on the edge. We are trying to get the home completed before the baby is born so everyone can come home to a nice updated house. I am pretty excited about the idea of leaving the house one way and coming home to everything having been redone. Let's cross our fingers and toes it all works out!
7/27/10
Check, Check, Check
I have been referring to this helpful list lately and thought I would do another repost of it in case others may be able to benefit as well. Check List for Prospective Parents provided by Adoption Affiliates with a few things added and taken away by yours truly. A shopping list to make sure you are prepared when baby arrives.
Big Pimpin'
Last week after I dropped Brian off at work, I was hit in the parking lot. The front fender of my Armada was damaged, just a fender bender.
While my SUV is in the shop being repaired our insurance provides us with a rental car. Not just any rental car but this rental car...
This sweet ride is a 2010 Grand Marquis. When I requested a vehicle large enough for car seats, I thought perhaps a mini van, a full size car, small SUV, I had no idea. My grandmother has one just like it.
Today as we were leaving the house and I was loading the kids into the car Brice said to me, "Mom, what's this?" I said, "our new car." He said, "you sure Mom?" I don't think he appreciates it either.
Today as we were leaving the house and I was loading the kids into the car Brice said to me, "Mom, what's this?" I said, "our new car." He said, "you sure Mom?" I don't think he appreciates it either.
I Just Couldn't Wait
Learning the baby's gender was all I need to get the fire started. I am in full baby swing! I have picked up a few outfits, bottles, burp clothes, baby book and blankets. Of course I kept the receipts, as we know adoption is never guaranteed. I made a trip to the mega baby store today and started to get an idea of items we may want or need.
Brian and I settled on a name last night, although we will not share until we know she is ours. We followed the same routine when our boys were born. We announced their names when we announced their births to our family and friends. We also chose a nursery bedding set and decor and will purchase it soon. We do not want to jinx the adoption, but it is hard to contain our enthusiasm.
Our home is in baby mode, it's crunch time!
Brian and I settled on a name last night, although we will not share until we know she is ours. We followed the same routine when our boys were born. We announced their names when we announced their births to our family and friends. We also chose a nursery bedding set and decor and will purchase it soon. We do not want to jinx the adoption, but it is hard to contain our enthusiasm.
Our home is in baby mode, it's crunch time!
Family of Five
In April, we decided to officially start the process to add to our family. After discussing the possibility for a length of time, we called the adoption agency in April and began the application process. We found out earlier this month we had been chosen by a birth mother who was due in September.
After an ultrasound, the baby did not cooperate and the doctor was unable to determine the sex. The doctor did however recalculate her due date and moved it to August 26th. At this point, she is now 36 weeks pregnant and after another ultrasound yesterday we found out the baby is a girl.
Now we wait until the baby is born and 48 hours later we will be able to hold her and bring her to our home. Of course, the birth mother has the option to change her mind until that time has passed. So we wait, hope and pray.
Although there are no guarantees, I have been dying to purchase baby items. Now that we know the gender, I have purchased a few items and held on to the receipts...just in case. We have also chosen a name, but we will not reveal and selected nursery decor. Preparing for baby is so exciting.
We will continue to keep you posted.
After an ultrasound, the baby did not cooperate and the doctor was unable to determine the sex. The doctor did however recalculate her due date and moved it to August 26th. At this point, she is now 36 weeks pregnant and after another ultrasound yesterday we found out the baby is a girl.
Now we wait until the baby is born and 48 hours later we will be able to hold her and bring her to our home. Of course, the birth mother has the option to change her mind until that time has passed. So we wait, hope and pray.
Although there are no guarantees, I have been dying to purchase baby items. Now that we know the gender, I have purchased a few items and held on to the receipts...just in case. We have also chosen a name, but we will not reveal and selected nursery decor. Preparing for baby is so exciting.
We will continue to keep you posted.
7/26/10
Big News!
Following another ultrasound today, our agency called to let us know it's a girl! Bring on the pink and ruffles.
7/24/10
Home Study Worksheet
Nervous about your home study? Be prepared for questions you may be asked and the documents you will most likely be required to produce. This worksheet from theadoptionguide.com can be helpful.
I Live Dangerously
Rogan is now two, and it is his belief that he is too big to stay in the stroller. He prefers to keep pace with his big brother.
Brian left for a business trip on Thursday, so I decided to take the boys to the aquarium, stroller free. It was pretty crowded but we did it anyway. The boys were great.
Rogan is much better at staying by me than Brice was at his age. Brice was a darter. He darted away and I was always ready to run. He now acts as our tour guide showing little brother and I what the aquarium has to offer.
I am slowly prepping myself for life with three kids. I can continue to go places pushing a stroller and keep my other two wrangled. No problem, bring it on. I like to live on the edge.
A few photos:
Brian left for a business trip on Thursday, so I decided to take the boys to the aquarium, stroller free. It was pretty crowded but we did it anyway. The boys were great.
Rogan is much better at staying by me than Brice was at his age. Brice was a darter. He darted away and I was always ready to run. He now acts as our tour guide showing little brother and I what the aquarium has to offer.
I am slowly prepping myself for life with three kids. I can continue to go places pushing a stroller and keep my other two wrangled. No problem, bring it on. I like to live on the edge.
A few photos:
Rogan got a fire truck for his birthday and he loves it.
I was too busy being on guard making sure I did not lose anyone while at the aquarium to take photos.
After the aquarium we went to Wendy's for lunch. Rogan was very excited.
Waiting Game
Last year at this time I wrote this post about the waiting period. I am terrible at taking my own advice. I have been a terrible and unproductive waiter this time around. I have been journaling some and we have most of the baby items we need having doing this twice before.
Previously, I dove head first into decorating the nursery. Perhaps it is third child syndrome. Although, I think I have been holding out hope we would know what we were having beforehand. I have decorated the nursery twice in neutral decor and I was ready to chose something in pink or blue. Well, maybe not pink but something girly and for a boy I found an adorable little airplane set.
We are ready to do something to make the time pass. We are currently preparing to hire a contractor to install wood flooring, new carpeting in the bedrooms, crown moulding, and paint the interior of our home. I realize as soon as we embark on this gigantic mess and disturbance to our everyday life, the adoption agency is going to call and tell us it is time.
I am totally okay with that, we welcome chaos.
Previously, I dove head first into decorating the nursery. Perhaps it is third child syndrome. Although, I think I have been holding out hope we would know what we were having beforehand. I have decorated the nursery twice in neutral decor and I was ready to chose something in pink or blue. Well, maybe not pink but something girly and for a boy I found an adorable little airplane set.
We are ready to do something to make the time pass. We are currently preparing to hire a contractor to install wood flooring, new carpeting in the bedrooms, crown moulding, and paint the interior of our home. I realize as soon as we embark on this gigantic mess and disturbance to our everyday life, the adoption agency is going to call and tell us it is time.
I am totally okay with that, we welcome chaos.
Parenthood For Me
Parenthood For Me awards their first grants! Parenthoodforme.org share this link!!
Please read the link below
Please forward this message to anyone who may be interested in our non-profit.
Thank you.
Erica Walther Schlaefer
President/Founder
Parenthood for Me, Inc.
7/22/10
Adoption and School
My friend at Campbell Family Party of 3 posted today about telling your child's teacher he/she is adopted. Check it out!
Also here are some additional references covering the same topic:
AdoptiveFamilies.com
Adopting.org
Adoption.com
The school year is fast approaching, summer is almost over it's time to prepare for school.
Also here are some additional references covering the same topic:
AdoptiveFamilies.com
Adopting.org
Adoption.com
The school year is fast approaching, summer is almost over it's time to prepare for school.
7/21/10
Ultrasound
The birth mother received an ultrasound yesterday, apparently her first. Until yesterday, her due date had been calculated by the date she had given as her last menstrual cycle. She was a little off because the doctor moved her due date from September 21st to August 26th. From the ultrasound they were able to say she appeared to be about 35 weeks along and the baby appeared healthy and normally developed. Unfortunately, the baby is now so large, curled up and cozy in there the doctor was unable see his/her nether regions. Therefore, unable to determine the sex.
At 35 weeks, baby probably looks somewhat like this...
We continue to wait and prepare for a new child to come home to our family. I guess if this child is meant to join our family we are not meant to know his/her gender. Adoption is full of surprises!
At 35 weeks, baby probably looks somewhat like this...
She called into the agency after her appointment and gave this short report. We will take her checking in as a sign she is still considering her placement plan.
We continue to wait and prepare for a new child to come home to our family. I guess if this child is meant to join our family we are not meant to know his/her gender. Adoption is full of surprises!
7/20/10
Catch Up!
I feel like I have been playing catch up a lot lately. It has been pretty busy around our house. Rogan turned two and we had his party, Brice finished up his speech therapy for this summer, and we are still working on adopting our third!
So here is what's happening with each:
Adoption: We have been chosen by a birth mother who is due in September and are still waiting. The birth mother seems as if she is not as sure in her decision as once believed. We continue to be on profile with the adoption agency and if her adoption fails, we hope to be chosen again quickly. We are standing by and will continue to keep everyone updated. We appreciate all the kind words, emails, and prayers received.
Rogan: Now 2 years old, Rogan is getting too big for his britches. His vocabulary is getting larger, his most recent vocabulary additions are Spongebob and bubbles. Big words for a big boy! He now believes he has grown so much he can wear my shoes. Here are a few pictures of him strutting around in my sneakers.
So here is what's happening with each:
Adoption: We have been chosen by a birth mother who is due in September and are still waiting. The birth mother seems as if she is not as sure in her decision as once believed. We continue to be on profile with the adoption agency and if her adoption fails, we hope to be chosen again quickly. We are standing by and will continue to keep everyone updated. We appreciate all the kind words, emails, and prayers received.
Rogan: Now 2 years old, Rogan is getting too big for his britches. His vocabulary is getting larger, his most recent vocabulary additions are Spongebob and bubbles. Big words for a big boy! He now believes he has grown so much he can wear my shoes. Here are a few pictures of him strutting around in my sneakers.
Brice: Brice finished up his speech therapy summer session today. Brian and I met with his speech pathologists and they are as pleased as we are with his progress. He is communicating well and continues to improve. We cannot say enough good things about the University of Tulsa's Speech Pathology program and his pathologists. He received rewards for all his hard work and was very proud of them. He earned a pair of sunglasses, a slinky, and candy! Here are some pictures of Brice showing off his prizes!
We still spend a lot of time outside playing, but this heat has kept us indoors more than usual. Hope everyone is enjoying their summer!
Still Waiting...
One thing about adoption is absolutely certain, events are beyond our control. As a person who likes to be in control and some may even say is a tad bossy (um...actually a whole lot bossy) the uncontrollable aspects of adoption are difficult.
We have waited on pins and needles for the past week to find out the gender of the baby we have been chosen for, we continue to wait. The birth mother has visited the doctor once during this past week for blood work and labs but the ultrasound has not been done. We have been told it is scheduled to be done by Wednesday. Birth mom's scheduling and attendance of appointments is an aspect beyond our control. So we wait.
In the last few days, comments have been made by the birth mother and her support system that leads us to believe she may be having second thoughts. Pure speculation on our part and a gut feeling. We have traveled this road before. We are familiar with the "signs" the path may be changing. We are okay with whatever she decides. If she decides to parent, we only wish her the best and we accept the child was not meant to be ours.
We believe with all our hearts and down all the way to our toes, Brice and Rogan were meant to be our children. Our child will come to our family when the time is right.
Our family of five will come together. For now, we wait.
We have waited on pins and needles for the past week to find out the gender of the baby we have been chosen for, we continue to wait. The birth mother has visited the doctor once during this past week for blood work and labs but the ultrasound has not been done. We have been told it is scheduled to be done by Wednesday. Birth mom's scheduling and attendance of appointments is an aspect beyond our control. So we wait.
In the last few days, comments have been made by the birth mother and her support system that leads us to believe she may be having second thoughts. Pure speculation on our part and a gut feeling. We have traveled this road before. We are familiar with the "signs" the path may be changing. We are okay with whatever she decides. If she decides to parent, we only wish her the best and we accept the child was not meant to be ours.
We believe with all our hearts and down all the way to our toes, Brice and Rogan were meant to be our children. Our child will come to our family when the time is right.
Our family of five will come together. For now, we wait.
7/19/10
Spreading the Word!
Adoption fundraisers are a common way to raise funds to assist with adoption costs. The following list of websites can help you with your fundraising efforts:
Some readers of Adoptive Momma of Two are currently conducting fundraisers to assist in bringing their children home. You can help support them by reposting their links and spreading the word about their adoption fundraisers. An added benefit of adoption fundraising is adoption advocation! Please visit their website and help them raise the funds they need to complete their adoptions.
http://itstheroadlesstravelled.com - The Shubin family is currently working to raise funds to bring their fifth child home, a daughter from Ethiopia. Visit their blog and see their beautiful children and read about their work in Africa.
http://cateandsean.blogspot.com- Cate and Sean have three daughters adopted from Haiti and are selling beautiful cross pendants to raise funds to adopt their fourth baby.
http://www.FunkyMedWear.etsy.com- This Esty store owner sells handmade scrub caps and tops to fund their Russian adoption. A family member sells baby blankets at www.TopsyTurvyTots.etsy.com with profits adding to the adoption fund as well. The family also has additional items for sell at www.LandRDesigns.etsy.com
http://www.FunkyMedWear.etsy.com- This Esty store owner sells handmade scrub caps and tops to fund their Russian adoption. A family member sells baby blankets at www.TopsyTurvyTots.etsy.com with profits adding to the adoption fund as well. The family also has additional items for sell at www.LandRDesigns.etsy.com
If you are conducting an adoption fundraiser let me know and I'll add your links to another post.
7/16/10
Fundraisers
If you are currently selling t-shirts or other items to assist in the financing of your adoption send me your info. I would be happy to post links, Tweet or ReTweet, or post links on my Facebook page to help spread the word! Send me your links or blog posts to adoptivemomma2@yahoo.com and I will help get the word out!
Enjoy your weekend!!
Enjoy your weekend!!
7/14/10
Hoops
We're officially in the hoop jumping phase of adoption. Monday evening we had our home study update, which went very well except the agency was unable to get the birth mother an appointment with the doctor that day and she is scheduled for an ultrasound and appointment this Monday. Hopefully, we will find out the gender of the baby then, fingers crossed.
Otherwise, our home study update went well. What should have taken less than an hour took two and half hours because we spent so much time chatting. We really like our agency and the social workers and we all easily get side tracked discussing unrelated things.
As for hoops, we have a few less to jump through this time around. It is definitely easier the second and third adoptions because information obtained during the first adoption is used again.
We are assembling all the "new" stuff needed, getting physicals to verify our healthiness, assembling paycheck stubs, insurance verifications, and completing new state requirement forms. All while Brian's Jeep is in the shop so we are sharing a vehicle, the kids' day to day activities and appointments, we get estimates to have the interior of our home painted and normal life rolls on. It's a little bit busy around here but it's about to get a whole lot busier and we couldn't be happier about it. Hurry up September, I'm ready to be Adoptive Momma of Three.
Otherwise, our home study update went well. What should have taken less than an hour took two and half hours because we spent so much time chatting. We really like our agency and the social workers and we all easily get side tracked discussing unrelated things.
As for hoops, we have a few less to jump through this time around. It is definitely easier the second and third adoptions because information obtained during the first adoption is used again.
We are assembling all the "new" stuff needed, getting physicals to verify our healthiness, assembling paycheck stubs, insurance verifications, and completing new state requirement forms. All while Brian's Jeep is in the shop so we are sharing a vehicle, the kids' day to day activities and appointments, we get estimates to have the interior of our home painted and normal life rolls on. It's a little bit busy around here but it's about to get a whole lot busier and we couldn't be happier about it. Hurry up September, I'm ready to be Adoptive Momma of Three.
7/12/10
Home Study
Tonight our adoption social worker will be coming by our home to visit and update our home study. We have been through the home study process twice before, but we feel anxious this time too. I will spend my day dusting, putting away laundry, mopping floors, and cleaning all nooks and crannies. I know we will not be subjected to a white glove inspection, but I'll go through the cleaning routine anyway. I am certain Julie (the social worker) will not be looking for dust bunnies and well made beds but it makes me feel better that if she does everything will be done.
Completing the home study makes it all seem real. Having the social worker in our home makes us feel we are progressing forward. We hope Julie's visit comes with additional information. We hope to see a medical history and social history completed by the birth mother and perhaps **fingers and toes crossed** find out the sex of the baby.
Until then I'll clean and organize and get our home in tip top shape.
You may also be interested in:
Locating a home study professional
Home Study Concerns
The Home Study
Where to Start
Completing the home study makes it all seem real. Having the social worker in our home makes us feel we are progressing forward. We hope Julie's visit comes with additional information. We hope to see a medical history and social history completed by the birth mother and perhaps **fingers and toes crossed** find out the sex of the baby.
Until then I'll clean and organize and get our home in tip top shape.
You may also be interested in:
Locating a home study professional
Home Study Concerns
The Home Study
Where to Start
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