Instead of blogging, I took my boys to the zoo today.  You can see how much fun we had on our family blog here.


Also, remember you can win a copy of Sally Bacchetta's book, What I Want My Adopted Child to Know: An Adoptive Parent's Perspective.  Enter to win here.

Left In The Dust

I took the boys to the zoo today.  The weather was beautiful.  We packed a picnic and enjoyed the fresh air.  

I realized today, when Rogan struggled to get through the playground instead of looking to me for help...

he found his own way.  

Neither one of them need much help from their mom anymore. 

Nope, they're off and I'm left behind in a cloud of dust.

You Said No Again?!

As I told you before here, we said no the first time the agency called us with a potential adoption match.  Well, we actually said no a second time too before we were ever parents.  I know, I know, we wanted a baby so badly but we kept turning them down what was our problem? We felt we had to make sure a situation was right for us and we did not feel the first two opportunities were the right time to say yes.

Here's the story of our second chance to adopt:

A client of Brian's had an acquaintance with an infant daughter.  I believe her daughter was approximately 9 months old, and the mother thought she needed to make an adoption plan. Brian's client knew we were looking into adoption and he felt the situation may be right for us. It was not.

The young mother had many personal issues she was attempting to work through and she was working hard to get her life back on the right path. We met her and Brian's client for dinner one evening. She was a lovely person but it was evident she was not ready to make an adoption plan. Her plan was to co-parent her child.  She very much wanted to let her daughter live with a family but she did not seem ready to let someone else parent her daughter. It was an awkward and somewhat uncomfortable dinner date.

We left dinner that evening feeling the young mother was somewhat confused about adoption. She had a lot of ideas of how she wanted her daughter raised and what she wanted her to be exposed to. It was almost as if she was looking for a nice home for her daughter to live in and for financial support but she wanted to maintain the role as parent.

At that time, we were unfamiliar and unknowledgeable about the adoption process.  If we met that young lady today, we would have recommended someone to counsel her.  I would have also probably put her in touch with birth mothers who might have been able to educate her on what it is like to make an adoption plan.

Unfortunately, we do not know what happened to the young mother and her daughter. We wished we might have been able to help her but the situation was not a right fit.  It was our understanding Brian's client assisted her and her daughter in getting a place to live.  After that, Brian's client lost contact with her as well.  I wish we had a more positive ending to this story and we hope and pray it all worked out for her and her child.
_______________________________________________

Remember I am having a giveaway and you must enter to win by Monday, click here.

Waiting Children

Another email that came through my email this morning.  As always I cannot validate these email messages:


We are looking for a family for a 20 month old girl born with a cleft
lip and palate in our new adoption program in Uzbekistan. Her lip has
been repaired but she will need more surgery in the future. Married
couples only in this program.

We are also looking for homes for these Russian children, for whom we
will consider married couples, single women and single men (for the
boy):

Andrey, almost five, who has "horseshoe kidneys"

Galina, 6.5 yrs old, with cerebral palsy

Valentina, almost five, with "duplication of kidneys"

Families living in the Northeast or in the Chicago area may be able to
host one of the Russian children for three weeks in July in our hosting
program.

Please contact me for more information.
Linda Perilstein
Executive Director
Cradle of Hope Adoption Center
301-587-4400

Baby In Waiting

I received this email today.  I cannot verify the validity but if you are interested perhaps you could investigate further.


Family needed for a Afro American Baby - due June 2010 – Code: Arshanese
Name & Due Date: Arshanese – June 2010
Sex (If Known): Unknown
Race: Afro American
Location: Mid-South Region - AR, KS, OK, TX
Health: She is healthy. No drug, alcohol or tobacco.
Other Info: She will talk to family but then she wants a completely closed adoption - child can contact later
Total Estimated Fees: $ 15,000
Case Worker: l

IF INTERESTED and PAPER READY (Paper ready means that your home study is completed), please contact Sarah gmail.com> or Adam (No spaces) 
We are looking for families to match with our birth mothers.
We are working with several birth mothers and are looking for families to match them with. - If you are interested and paper ready Email Sarah or Adam (No spaces)
You may also go to our webpage www.Adoptionadvertising.org and fill out an adoptive parent intake form. Adam will call you after he gets the intake from the web page. It is IMPORTANT that you also email Adam or Sarah because the link from our web site that sends us your intake is not always reliable. All you would need to do is copy and paste the intake information and email it to them.
*** NOTE*** 
MOST OF OUR POTENTIAL BIRTH MOTHERS ARE MATCHED BEFORE WE EVER GET A CHANCE TO PLACE THEM ON OUR WEBSITE. If you would like to put in your application and be a family that our birth mothers are given to consider, please do so it is free.

Kathy Finch kathrynmfinch@hotmail.com
"Adoption Advertising" Adoption Administrative Assistant
www.Adoptionadvertising.org

A Giveaway!

Moments ago, I received an email from Sally Bacchetta saying she would donate a copy of her book, What I Want My Adopted Child to Know: An Adoptive Parent's Perspective to be given away on my blog!  How cool is that?!  I know many of you who read my post about her book are just as excited as I am for you to have a chance to win.  


If you want to know more about Sally Bacchetta please visit her website, her blog, or TheAdoptiveParent.com


You have several chances to win:
1.  Leave a comment on this post.
2.  Join my BlogFrog community by clicking here.  Leave me a comment on this post letting me know you joined.
3.  Blog about this giveaway.  Comment here leaving me the link to your post.


I will chose a winner by using Random.org on Monday, March 8th.  Good luck!

You Said No?!

As parents in waiting it is hard to imagine you would ever say no when an adoption situation is presented to you.  We did.  Our very first call from the agency after we completed all the paperwork.  We had been chosen as a potential family were we interested?  After some thought and consideration, we felt we had to say no.

When we applied to adopt we were asked what were we willing to accept.  When carrying your biological child you can control what your baby is exposed to and what you ingest.  As an adoptive parent you fill out a questionnaire with questions like...

Would you be willing to accept smoking of cigarettes throughout pregnancy?  

Would you be willing to accept smoking of cigarettes before birth mom realized she was pregnant?

Would you accept a history of mental illness?  If so which of the following illnesses would you accept? Followed by a list of check boxes.

Would you accept twins or multiples?

We went through all the questions and the check boxes giving each one thought.  We addressed our concerns and our limitations when it came to alcohol, drugs, and smoking.  When asked about multiple births we said yes.  We always assumed we might have twins because twins were in both of our families.  

A month after completing our paperwork and being approved to adopt, we received a call from the agency stating a birth mother was having triplets and we were a possible match.  What?!  Triplets!  How often does that happen?  Apparently, more than we realized.  Our agency had two birth mothers in their 30 year history pregnant with triplets.  

We thought and thought about it but did not feel we could handle three babies at once.  I mean, that would require some help.  Our parents did not live nearby and we were not in a financial position to hire a nanny.  

Some were surprised by our decision.  Here we were wanting a family more than anything and our first opportunity we turned down.  Some said, were were crazy to pass up an instant family.  Incidentally, at our agency multiples are kept together and fees are not per child but per adoption so we would have been getting three for the price of one.  Usually, I am not one to pass up a bargain but...three that is a lot of responsibility.  A lot.  Three times the diapers, the formula, our car certainly was not large enough, was our house?  

It was definitely hard to say no, we thought what if we are passing up our only opportunity.  Beggars cannot be choosers they say.  Well, obviously it all worked out.  The three babies were adopted by a wonderful family and the three little girls who are a few months older than Brice are great.  Our agency social worker usually gives us an update when we see her.  Always follow your gut when presented with a potential adoption situation.  We said no one more time, I'll tell you that story in my next post.