Adoptive Momma of Two Has the Answers!

I received several emails and a couple comments on my Just Ask Me? post.  Here are my answers.  I did my best to answer each question fully and to the best of my ability.  


1.  Will you adopt again or is your family complete with two?   

We go back and forth on this one all the time.  We think we're done, maybe we're done, well we'd do it again if it didn't cost so much, maybe someday we'll be able to afford it, two is a nice number, three would be nice, well maybe...

Did that answer your question?  We're confused too.

2.  My question for you would be how do you feel about your semi open adoption? 

We feel that semi open adoption was best for us.  It's a personal choice and you have to decide what you are most comfortable with.  There are many proponents for open adoption but that is not for everyone.  It was not for us.

We chose to use our agency's Texas office even though they have an office here in our town.  We felt more comfortable with a state line between us.  We live in a town of approximately 400,000 people, but we still run into people we know on a regular basis at the grocery store, Wal-Mart, Target, etc.  We did not want to be shopping and turn down an aisle and run into a birth parent unexpectedly.  

We send correspondence and photos on a regular basis, generally 3 times a year.  We have never received anything in response from the birth parents.  If they were to send something to the the agency we would accept it.  I believe it is important to continue to send items even without a response because they may change their minds someday, perhaps they are just not ready yet.

I believe there are pluses and minuses to either choice.  In an open adoption, the child would have an ongoing relationship with their birth parent(s), but that could also become confusing or overwhelming.  For instance, if a birth parent chooses to discontinue communication or contact a child could possibly feel rejected.  In a semi open adoption, the child does not have the ongoing relationship.  It is the responsibility of their adoptive parents to tell them their adoption story.  The child then decides on their own if they want to meet their birth parent(s) when they are older.

This discussion could go back and forth for days.  Everyone must weigh their options and decide what is best for them.

3.  My question is about the parent profile books.  What did you use when y'all were making your book?  Did you do it the old fashioned way, by scrap booking it, or did you do everything digitally?   If you did it digitally, did you use a certain template?

We did it the old fashion way I guess.  It wasn't really a scrapbook.  I did purchase a few photo frames, stickers and page borders in the scrapbook aisle.  I used card stock paper, photos, and printed short narratives directly onto the card stock or cut and pasted them onto it.  I dressed up the pages by framing the photos, using a few stickers and adding a border on some.  I kept it fairly simple because I did not want to put the focus on the decoration and not the content.

After finishing the pages, I took them to FedEx Kinko's and had them copied and bound.  Using copies gave it a clean look.  The pages were smooth, neat, and did not look like a scrap book.   We used a clear plastic cover, plastic backing, and plastic spiral bounding.

Our agency provided us with old profiles to review and model from during one of our meetings.  We were not given the option of digital books and did not consider it.  If I were a birth mother, I would rather have something to hold and thumb through again and again, rather than review from a computer screen.  It would seem more personal to me, but that is only my opinion.

I did a post on creating our portfolio, here.

I'm out of time to answer questions this time, have to go feed my family.  I'd be happy to spend time answering more at a later date.  Keep them coming at adoptivemomma2@yahoo.com.