Right or wrong we believe everything happens for a reason. We do not know why the adoption failed, but it did. We have a few theories. Perhaps the parents needed more time to make their decision and we were the potential adoptive parents chosen to handle a failed placement. A failed adoption is never easy, but it's hard to be too upset when you are already blessed with two wonderful boys.
Maybe, this failure served as a stop and appreciate moment. Really we take our blessings for granted and we were forced to stop and smell the roses. As sad as I was not to be welcoming a little girl to our family, I have a greater appreciation of the special moments with our boys.
We will never have all the answers we may long for but we will move on. We still plan to adopt and are not discouraged. I have been asked if I am sorry I blogged about meeting the baby, holding her, etc. Not one bit. This is adoption. You may be provided the opportunity to hold and love on a little one and you need to remember, nothing is permanent until filed with the court.
We will discuss our options with our agency case worker and make a decision on when our portfolio will be shown again. Our baby is out there somewhere waiting to come home to us. We are ready whenever the time comes to welcome our child home.
9 comments:
Thank you so much for sharing your experiences! We are praying to complete our home study this month and would like to domestically adopt a special needs child. Your posts made us take a good look into our hearts. This is a real possibility with adoption. Thank you for being examples of the best kind! You grieve but you also shine! Thank you!!!
Thank you for sharing. I too worry about the potentials out there and the what-ifs. Hard not to!
Take care of yourselves, and I look forward to see your success when it comes.
I think your stregnth and honesty is going to help a lot of hopeful adoptive parents.
Your boys are very lucky to have you, and there is another little baby out there who is just waiting to be welcomed into your home with open arms!
Just caught up with your news. Very sorry for the heartache, but I'm so convinced of your grace and strength and loving heart that I have no doubt you'll find peace very soon. Praying for ALL of you!
I too just caught up with your news and am sorry for what you are going through right now. We also experienced a failed placement before bringing home our son and you are right, everything does happen for a reason, we may not understand it at that exact moment, but one day it will make sense. And yes I agree with you, this is a part of adoption (not easy at all) and its not for the weak.
I think you have explained and expressed the "setbacks" in adoption beautifully, I'm just sorry you had to experience them again...they are not easy!
Blessings to you and your family - your next little family member is out there waiting to become part of your family and I can't wait to hear all about it when it does happen!!!
I think it is such a blessing that you are sharing your journey so authentically. You are right. This is adoption! And every step -- the painful and the joyful -- are for a reason and so worth it in the end. We help no one when we paint adoption as an easy road. Instead, it's a bittersweet blessing that brings an opportunity for growth (ready we want it or not! ;). God bless, and we look forward to hearing when you are ready to get started again. Your little one really is out there somewhere! :)
I love your outlook... I seriously want to be more like you when I grow up.
I think I found your blog thru Gapbaby. We just went thru a failed placement as well. We too our remaining hopeful and are learning to be gentle with ourselves as we grieve and wait.
You are in our thoughts and prayers.
Renae
Thank-you for your openness! I found your blog via Picket Fence. We have three kids and are in the process of adopting again from Ethiopia. We're bringing home twins this time! I'd love to follow along with your blog adventures and hope you'd be interested to do the same!
Cheers!
J
www.gfinkfamily.blogspot.com
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