Happy Halloween

We all had costumes this year, although we were unsuccessful at actually getting a photo of us all together.

 Brian as Clark W. Griswold, not much of a stretch here...

 I was a pumpkin not much of a stretch either...short, round, seemed like an obvious choice

 Rogan the monkey

Brice the robot

Hope everyone enjoys their holiday and stay safe!!

Blog Book

I found this information via a blog follower and thought it was such a great idea that I must share it too!  As you know, I hope my boys find my blog helpful someday in processing their own adoption stories.  Therefore, when I saw this information I knew I had to follow up.  Blog2Print will print your entire blog into a book, hard or soft cover.  You can divide your book however you like, I will most likely print one for each year.  I am excited to have a hard copy of my posts for my kids to have as keepsakes.

Thank you Savannah at Countless Tomorrows for this information!

History of National Adoption Month

By Carrie Craft, About.com Guide

In 1976, the governor of Massachusetts, Michael Dukakis, announced an Adoption Week for his state. Later that same year President Gerald Ford proclaimed that Adoption Week would be celebrated nationally. According to Child Welfare Information Gateway, President Reagan proclaimed the first National Adoption Week in 1984. As more and more states started to participate in Adoption Week it became clear that more time was needed for holding events and in 1995, President Clinton, proclaimed November as National Adoption Month.

The celebration usually includes National Adoption Day with courthouses throughout the nation participating and hundreds of adoptions being finalized simultaneously.  

National Adoption Month is a time to celebrate family and to bring about awareness that there are hundreds of thousands of children in foster homes awaiting adoption. States, communities, and agencies hold events during the month to bring the need for families into public view.

For information on what you can do to help the children who are waiting for a family contact your local state agency.

For information on celebrating see Celebrating National Adoption Month with day by day activities for ideas.

National Adoption Month

November is National Adoption Month, www.adoption.com lists some great ideas to celebrate.  I particularly like the daily calendar with an activity to celebrate each day during the month.  Of course, many of us will be unable to do something special everyday, but some is always better than none!

If you  would like to see their daily calendar of observations click here!

If you have great ideas and plan to celebrate, do share...I'd love to hear all about it.

Waiting Children

**Emails are received through a public list serv.  I do not have any experience with the adoption agencies or facilitators.  I would recommend a thorough investigation into the validity of the posts.

THREE ONE YEAR OLD BOYS WITH DOWNS

We are looking for homes for three little boys in eastern europe with Down Syndrome. Ivan, Milo and Steffen are darling little boys with only slight delays. They need loving homes to live and grow to their full potential. Reduced fees for Milo's adoption! Email for photos and details!nina.thompson@chiadopt.org

________________________

TODDLER GIRL

There is a little girl of 2 years old waiting with a heart condition. She has
reddish brown hair, blue eyes, you can apply now for her, she is cleared and
waiting.
Please see Reagan-
http://waitingchildren.wordpress.com/about/waiting-children-ages-0-5/

___________________________________

SIBLING GROUP

We have a 3, 2, 1 year old sibling group for a paper ready family (homestudy
completed or can convert to international ASAP) and filing I-600Ahttp://waitingchildren.wordpress.com/about/waiting-children-ages-0-5/

see Oliver, Olivia, and Odella

We also have a healthy 7 year old boy Parkerhttp://waitingchildren.wordpress.com/about/waiting-children-ages-6-12/

_____________________________________


We need help finding a family for a handsome little boy from southeast Asia (not
China, or Korea or Thailand), who just turned seven last week. We have 6 days
left to find him a family. His orphanage director has asked us to try one more
time to find him a family, and if we don't have a family by the end of October
he will be transferred to an orphanage where he will no longer be eligible for
adoption. We had two different families who wanted to adopt him but due to
circumstances beyond their control they couldn't finish the adoption. Singles
and married couples will be considered. Up to $9500 in aid.

If you would like to review his entire file there is no fee.Please read about
him below.


I.0903.15684.02
Three years ago this boy was found sick and malnourished while living on the
street. He has some speech and learning challenges, but has gained ground
steadily in his new environment. A bone scan 4/22/2010 determined his age.
Here are some excerpts from recent orphanage reports:

-he has made significant progress
-can recite the alphabet, days of week, months of year
-has excellent eye contact
-no major motor delays
-does his own self-care—dressing, washing, etc.

He loves to be around new people and likes to be given personal attention. He
gets very excited when he spots volunteers and staff who spend time with him and
waves and them and greets them with a smile and sometimes even a hug. He is
always ready to smile. He is socially very interactive though verbally not as
expressive as others. He can be seen enjoying group games and helping friends
on the merry-go-round.

He's a very sensitive child and detests it when his teacher raises her voice
even slightly….. He has a firm enemy in a certain little boy. His best friend
also happens to be the same boy!

His speech has improved considerably. He speaks very softly and keeps his
verbal communication limited to his needs. He understands much more than he
expresses and likes to communicate more with actions than with words.

He loves physical and outdoor activities which can be used as a tool to improve
his span of attention. He also enjoys coloring and can be seen singing to
himself while doing t.

____________________________

Single women and single men can inquire about his adoption, as well as
two-parent families. There is a grant of $9500 assigned to this child's
adoption to help a family that makes less than $125,000 a year after child
deductions. If a family becomes interested in adopting this little boy, we can
find out if the family will be approved before any financial investment is made.

To learn about the adoption process please visit our website at www.wacap.org
and we suggest you click on "India" in the upper left portion of the page.
Adopting a waiting child in India usually takes about 18 months.

To see a detailed chart of the expenses involved in adopting including India
visit this page and scroll to the bottom:http://www.wacap.org/LinkClick.aspx?fileticket=TiZvpVbbHY0%3d&tabid=117

If a family become interested in adopting this little boy, we can find out if
the family will be approved before any financial investment is made.

Feel free to send this email to any individual you know, but please don't post
it to any blog or website due to confidentiality rules.

I look forward to hearing from you. Even if he isn't a good fit for your
family, maybe you know someone who would be interested in him. Thanks for your
help in finding a family for this boy!
Thank-you FamilyFinders@...
1-800-732-1887 WACAP(www.wacap.org) is a non-profit adoption agency.

Pumpkins

Out of Touch

Lately, I have not been blogging very much.  Frankly, I have no excuse other than I just do not feel like it.  I use this blog to spread the word about adoption, share my experiences, and provide helpful information and links to others.  I have been busy feeling sort of selfish lately.

I have been having my own little pity party.  This month marks six months since we filled out our paperwork for baby number three.  I know...how can I be feeling sorry for myself?  We already have two wonderful boys.  Six months is not a long time to wait, not even as long as a pregnancy.  I know, I know I am a selfish person.

I cannot help wanting another child even if it is a selfish.  I love being a mother.  I enjoy my family.

I am impatiently waiting for our family to be blessed one more time.

ATIN Number

The end of the year is quickly approaching.  As 2010 nears the end, I felt it might be helpful to repost information about obtaining an ATIN (Adoption Taxpayer Identification Number) for your child if your adoption will not be finalized by the end of 2010.  


If you are adopting and your adoption has not yet been finalized you will need to apply for a Adoption Taxpayer Identification Number (ATIN) through the IRS.  The ATIN number allows adopting taxpayers to claim their child on their tax return.  An ATIN number is used by taxpayers with pending U.S. adoptions when a SSN number has not been issued.  The ATIN is temporary and does expire.  Generally it takes 4 to 8 weeks to receive an ATIN number after the IRS receives your W-7A form.  To find out more information about the ATIN click here if you need the ATIN application form W-7A click here.

Attention Bloggers!

If you are an adoption blogger you may be interested in the following post I saw on Adoptionvoices.com:

AdoptionBlogs.com is recruiting bloggers to write on various topics related to adoption. This is a compensated, contract position. If you'd like to learn more, check out their blog post and submit your request.

Pumpkin Patch

Brian left work early yesterday to come home and take us all to the pumpkin patch.  We assumed since we were going on a week night it would not be all that busy...wrong!  The pumpkin patch was a hopping!  There were people all around and I am sure it is even more crowded on the weekends.

We still had a great time, as always.  Brice rode a pony, Rogan decided he would rather watch.  They were able to pet the animals and loaded up a wheel barrow full of pumpkins for their dad to push around and buy for them.  I tried to get some good photos but it was just too exciting and the boys could not stand to stay still long enough for a photo op.

Why Not Open?

One question I am asked a lot and I mean A LOT, why not choose open adoption?  A couple of reasons...

First, we did not fully understand adoption when we began the process.  We did not know the ins and outs of how open adoption works and how common it is.  When we began the adoption process we were afraid.  We were afraid we would never be chosen to parent and we were afraid our baby could be taken away years after adopting.  We feared a birth parent showing up on our front doorstep demanding their child be returned. The media does a good job of showing us the extremes in adoption.  Although the cases they show and publicize are not the norm.

Second, the birth mothers who reviewed our profiles did not want an open adoption.  The birth mothers who chose us to parent their children chose a closed adoption.  Although our adoptions are considered closed,  we did meet their birth parents and some extended family members.  We spent time together in the hospital and before the births of our sons.  After placement, we continue to send letters, photos and updates 3 to 4 times a year.  We are under no obligation to do so, but we assume the birth families appreciate the updates.

Finally, at this point we would not consider an open adoption because our previous adoptions were closed. We feel it would be confusing for the boys if their sibling's adoption were open and their's are not.  It would be difficult to explain why their sibling saw their birth family from time to time and they do not.  We believe it would only add confusion and heartache.

If we were to start from scratch today, knowing what we know now would we choose an open adoption?  I still do not know. I know many have open adoptions and relationships with the birth parent(s) with much success.  I can see both sides of the equation.  I understand where an open adoption can help a child process feelings of loss and to understand the reasons for their placement.  I also understand it could be very confusing, having a birth parent come in and out of a child's life a few times a year.  I think if we were beginning today, we would have to discuss the situation and evaluate what was best for our child and our family.

I am not against open adoption, I believe it can and does work.  I am however a realist and know not all open adoptions play out as seen on television, all birth parents are not Tyler and Catelynn from Teen Mom on MTV.  Above all else, each situation is different and how the child is to be affected should be the ruling factor.

Frick & Frack

To the grandmothers of these wild boys...when you want to know why we do not have professional family photos taken or why we never have photos of the boys together, please refer to this post.

Perfect Match

When adopting we can become desperate.  It's easy to do.  Many of us have waited years for a child and have suffered loss after loss.  When a potential situation comes to us our initial reaction may be, YES!  I mean beggars cannot be choosers right?

During our adoption journeys we have been presented with situations and we have said no. Sometimes people look at us and say, "are you crazy?"  "but this could be your only chance!".  Yet we still decided to say no.  Our first no occurred only a month or so after we first applied to adopt, months before Brice was born.  We received a call from our agency stating triplets were needing a forever family, were we interested? Brian answered that phone call and I believe his exact words were, "uh I'm gonna have to talk to my wife."

We said no.  How could we be so picky?  We would be getting an instant family.  Our adoption expenses would have been the same for three as they would have been for one.  A bargain, I always love a bargain but three kids...that's a big deal.  We were hours away from our nearest family members.  We live in a three bedroom home.  We would need a lot of help, who was going to help?  We couldn't afford a nanny or nannies.  Three times the diapers, clothes, strollers, car seats, etc.  Nope not for us.

The second time we said no was very recent.  While in the middle of waiting for a baby to be born in August, who would eventually result in a failed placement for us we were presented with the opportunity to immediately adopt a 14 month old little girl.  Her mother was looking to immediately place and then move cross country.  We thought, prayed, talked and eventually said no.

We had already committed ourselves to another birth mother.  She had chosen us and only us to parent her daughter to be born in August and we did not feel walking away from her was the right thing to do.  Also, welcoming a 14 month old to our family is very different then welcoming a newborn.  We have a 2 year old who may take exception to having a little sister so close to him in age.

Well, as you know the baby born in August did not become ours and we now sit here waiting indefinitely for our baby to come home.  I still believe we made the right decision.  The right decision for us.

Every family dynamic is different and each situation needs to be evaluated thoroughly.  As adoptive parents, we want to be the best parents we can be.  Not every child that could potentially be ours, should be ours.  We may not be the best parents for them.  They may not be the best fit for our family.  Having other children already in our home, we must always evaluate how they will be affected as well.

It is okay to say no.  We did.  Saying no does not make us bad people.  Other prospective parents like us are waiting for their opportunity to parent as well.  The children we say no to may be their perfect match.  We have heard about and have seen photos of the beautiful blond headed triplet girls who were adopted by a wonderful couple.  My husband Brian was the attorney who terminated the rights of the 14 month old's birth mother.  He said the little girl went to family with three boys and was a perfect fit for her forever family.  It all worked out.

We may still be waiting, but our perfect match has not come to us yet.

I Never Knew...

I never knew how many people are touched by adoption or looking to adopt until I began to talk about adoption.  I never could have imagined how many people I would meet personally and electronically because of adoption.  Since becoming an adoptive parent we have met, emailed, and spoken to a minimum of a hundred people about adoption.  We correspond with friends of friends, neighbors of  friends and family, extended family members, former classmates, doctors, teachers, and even random strangers about adoption.

Adoption has enriched our lives.  I randomly cross paths with someone interested in adoption on a regular basis.  I wish someone would have spread the adoption word when we began the process.  I would have appreciated a personal resource and sounding board.  I blog to get the word out, answer questions, ease concerns.  I openly discuss adoption.  Opening our mouths and advocating can help others.

Adoption used to be a taboo topic, that is no longer the case. 

If you have a question or a curiosity send me an email at adoptivemomma2@yahoo.com or submit your question through the Ask Me Anything box on the side bar.  That's what I'm here for!

We're Home!

We had a wonderful vacation and nine days is a long time to be on the road with two small children.  Our boys were very good travelers.  We started off in Santa Fe, New Mexico and drove through western Colorado ending in western Kansas with a quick visit to see Road Trippin' Granny.

I took over 300 pictures but will post only a few...

Now back to the real world.


Need an adoption fundraiser idea?  Visit my friend Mandy's blog.