Just Adopt!-NIAW Day 3

Continuing with Day 3 of National Infertility Awareness Week and Resolve.org's Bust A Myth Challenge...today's myth "you can always just adopt".  I actually addressed this myth in a post at the beginning of the year.  I have taken the easy way out today and I will be reposting my post from January.  


It is frustrating when someone tells an infertile family "you can always just adopt".  As if it were that easy.  Adoption is not a decision to be taken lightly and it is not for everyone.  Infertile families are sometimes made to feel they are being selfish by not saving the "many children in need of a home."

I have wanted to say to that person "why don't you quit having biological children then and start adopting?".  You know, because it's so easy and there are children to be saved.

As adoptive parents, we are not out to save the world's children.  We are becoming parents to a child who was provided an opportunity better than the one their birth family could provide.  I am not speaking of third world orphans. I cannot speak to adopting a child from such a predicament.  I can only speak for adopting domestically via an agency because that is all I have experienced.

My children were not destined for a life of malnourishment, malaria, and neglect. They would have been loved and cared for by their birth mothers but they would not been afforded the life and opportunities we are able to provide. Their birth mothers would not have been able to accomplish the goals they had for an education and a better life for themselves had they parented.  The birth mothers made a choice for their children, an unselfish choice in their child's best interest.  Lucky me.  I became a parent because of their decision.

I will never tell someone you should just adopt. Adoption is not right for everyone, for many reasons.  We chose not to pursue fertility treatments, IVF, or surrogacy.  Those options were not the right ones for us. We had our own personal reasons for not choosing them.  I believe seeking out your path to parenthood is a very personal choice and subject to each persons own issues and beliefs. 

When I hear someone say "you should just adopt."  It makes me think of someone telling you "you should just be a Baptist." Adoption and religion are personal choices, for personal reasons. No one can tell you what is right for you. 

Infertility

National Infertility Awareness Week (NIAW)

Tomorrow's myth..."people adopt to save a child".