"how do you know what to accept in a birthmother"?
"the perfect birth mother does not exist. If she did she would not be a birth mother".
Her advice has always stuck with me. It also put me in my place. I would not have been a perfect bio mother. I am not a perfect adoptive mother. I am a mom who does her best.It is my belief we were meant to be adoptive parents. We were never meant to be bio parents. Adoption was our destiny and not a wrong turn in our life.
When it came time to check the box on the list of what we accept and do not accept in a birth mother we did our best not to judge. We tried to open our mind and be accepting. We knew what we were capable of and prepared for and in the end we followed our hearts.
Attempting to find the perfect birth mother does not ensure the perfect child. Our children's birth mothers had prenatal care. Drugs were not in our children's prenatal histories. Our children are not perfect.
We all have our issues. I know I have a few.
4 comments:
That is beautiful! When someone asked me once if I was concerned about the potential "genetic baggage" our adoptive children might carry, my answer was of course I am concerned but not as concerned as I'd be if they were carrying some of my and my husband's "genetic baggage"!
Well written Anna! Great post!!
Pretty much love that last line. Count me in that group as well.
This is such wonderful advice! It's the perfect way to look at it. Thank you so much for sharing.
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