I am copying and pasting so please forgive formatting issues....
I received some good questions since Paden's birth and I had a few minutes to answer and thought some of you may also be wondering the same thing so I decided to do a post.
Answer: It's insane. We were told we would be able to see her yesterday evening, we didn't see or hold her until after midnight. We did not get the call to go to the hospital until 9:30 p.m. and then we sat and waited until they brought her in. It's a funny little dance. The social worker met us in the waiting room. She has clearance to be back behind the locked doors with babies and mommies because she is there around the clock during the birth mother's hospital stay. As the birth parents are finally discharged they call us and tell us to come on over to the hospital. They try to avoid awkward run ins and emotional situations as much as possible.
We then met the social worker on the maternity floor and she came out and let us in. She had arranged a private room (nursing room) for us to be in and hold and love on the baby. We were able to stay until about 1:30 a.m.
They baby was then released to the foster mother and she took her home last night. In our hospital there was no window to see the babies, etc. They are behind another set of locked doors which we were not privy too. The social worker and nurses had to take her to and from the nursery.
Crazy amounts of paperwork and red tape. If you know how much of a chore it is to get yourself released from the hospital, imagine getting a baby released to someone other than their biological or adoptive parents.
I understand those precautions are there for a reason and babies are safer because of them. It did however wreck our nerves!
Second Question: I know this is your third adoption, but do you think it's gotten any easier emotionally/financially/physically? I don't think I would have fingernails left, and I don't even bite my nails!
Answer: They are all different. They all have their difficulties. Our first was born in El Paso so we had to drive to the end of the world to pick him up and then drive to my parents house and stay for 10 days while court documents were finalized and we could cross the state line. Driving 14 hours with a newborn is an adventure in and of itself.
Our second was born at 34 weeks so he was in the NICU for 13 days in Dallas and again we stayed with my parents during that time. It's always hard to be away from your own home and deal with difficult situations.
This is the first time we have had difficulty with birth parents. Before paperwork has always been signed to allow us in with the babies immediately after delivery. This time we waited almost 3 days. These birth parents were also very different and the situation was more about their needs instead of the baby's as we previously experienced. They never saw the baby until it was time for them to leave last night, never held her or anything but didn't allow us to do so either. They decided to leave her in the nursery alone. I don't understand their reasons. They could have also left the hospital at 6 p.m. but stayed until midnight when they had to leave and waited to see the baby until the last minute and they knew we were there waiting to hold her. It was all strange.
Emotionally, we have more self control and understanding because we have been through a failed placement and we understand nothing is ever certain until a judge signs the documents. Had this been our first adoption we would have been going crazy waiting.
Financially, we are just more financially mature this time around and able to pay for all expenses whereas before we had to borrow money to finance the adoptions. Also, the adoption federal tax credit has increased, increasing our return at the end of the year which is always nice. We get about half of our fees back in a return.
We definitely lean on each other and have had to apologize a few times over the last couple of days because we have been short with each other. Having a supportive family, agency and spouse is monumental.
