We do not go through the birthing process and therefore, we may feel guilty for receiving a little help. We should not. We did not physically labor for our child but we have labored. We have emotionally labored through a process full of peaks and valleys. We will continue to emotionally labor until the child is officially ours.
Adoption can wreck your nerves. It seems like the waiting will never end. You wait to be called. After the call, you wait for the child to be released into your care. After receiving your child you wait until you can finalize the adoption. Adoptive parents become very proficient in waiting.
Many times our child is born away from our home, often in another state. We may have traveled hours or days and spent many nights in a hotel room with an newborn, no doubt exhausting us. Again, this is part of our labor.
Finally being a new mother is being a new mother whether you have physically labored or not. Having an experienced mother around is comforting. If you are already a mother having someone there to help with your other child(ren) is beneficial.
One of the first lessons you will learn as a new mom is do not be too proud to accept help. Also, you may not take a shower before noon for a while if you are lucky enough to get a shower at all.
2 comments:
this is great, birthmom's often get overlooked for getting help too, luckily I had family and a few friends from church around, but so many girls go home alone and are left to deal with the aftermath of birth and relinquishment alone.
Very excellent. My husband and I had no one to help us when we brought our newborn daughter home from the hospital. Although I took 12 weeks FMLA, it was hard. As first time parents, the first week or two was the toughest adjustment and it was scary too. I'm generally a very level headed logical person, but having a little person whom you love with everything in your being is different to say the least. I truly believe my hormones were wreaking havoc on me too. I was conflicted about loving my new daughter and feeling guilty that our wonderful birthmom went home empty handed. I shed many tears over this and was scared that I wouldn't properly attach to my daughter as a result. My fears were unfounded. Having an experienced mom with us even for a few days would have helped to ease our nerves a lot. Even now 6 years later, we don't have family that can help us much and I wish it wasn't that way.
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