It's fun to watch your kids change as they grow.
9/30/10
Where's My Son?
Our son came home from school today, a boy I barely recognize. He's a bonafide preschooler now and it has changed him. He has received a sticker nearly everyday for being helpful, picking up and sharing toys. He spent part of his afternoon today "reading".
For those of you who know our Brice well, you understand why we have begun to question what they are putting in the fruit juice at school. Is this our son? The boy who used to bounce off the walls and couldn't sit still for a minute. We now have the new more refined Brice.
It's fun to watch your kids change as they grow.
It's fun to watch your kids change as they grow.
2010 Adoption Tax Credit
IRS guidance on expanded adoption tax credit for 2010 to learn more visit their website http://www.irs.gov/newsroom/article/0,,id=228301,00.html
Plan A Trip
Our agency's social worker always told us, plan a trip and your baby will arrive. It is true I guess, we planned a short trip to Houston to watch a St. Louis Cardinal's game in 2005. Three days before we were to leave for Houston we received a call that we had been chosen by a birth mother and Brice was scheduled to be delivered in one week.
We went to Houston that weekend and prepared for our son to be born the following Tuesday. We decided the trip would be our last hoorah as a childless couple. We had fun, but I cannot tell you a thing about the trip. I do not even remember if the Cardinals won. All we could think about was getting home and preparing to leave to pick up our son.
In 2008 we planned a vacation to Galveston, TX. We were scheduled to stop by Dallas to meet his birth mother who was due 6 weeks later. Five days into our trip to Galveston we received a call from the adoption agency that she had gone into labor early and we needed to get back to the Dallas area as soon as possible.
So, we leave next Friday for an 8 day road trip through New Mexico and Colorado. Could this trip trigger a call for baby #3? Fingers and toes crossed.
We went to Houston that weekend and prepared for our son to be born the following Tuesday. We decided the trip would be our last hoorah as a childless couple. We had fun, but I cannot tell you a thing about the trip. I do not even remember if the Cardinals won. All we could think about was getting home and preparing to leave to pick up our son.
In 2008 we planned a vacation to Galveston, TX. We were scheduled to stop by Dallas to meet his birth mother who was due 6 weeks later. Five days into our trip to Galveston we received a call from the adoption agency that she had gone into labor early and we needed to get back to the Dallas area as soon as possible.
So, we leave next Friday for an 8 day road trip through New Mexico and Colorado. Could this trip trigger a call for baby #3? Fingers and toes crossed.
9/27/10
Passing Time
We are back to the waiting phase of adoption. My least favorite phase of the process. Waiting patiently for the birth mother to come to agency, chose us to parent, and for our sweet baby to come home.
To combat the waiting, we try to keep our minds off it by keeping busy and having as much fun as a family as possible. We are planning a week long vacation soon, taking small trips on the weekends to local events and festivals, getting outdoors as much as possible and enjoying the cooler weather.
Here is how our family passes the time...
Playing in dirt...
Catching toads...
Feeding the ducks and geese...
A little yard work...
and having BBQ's.
The only good part about waiting is taking the time to enjoy what you already have.
To combat the waiting, we try to keep our minds off it by keeping busy and having as much fun as a family as possible. We are planning a week long vacation soon, taking small trips on the weekends to local events and festivals, getting outdoors as much as possible and enjoying the cooler weather.
Here is how our family passes the time...
The only good part about waiting is taking the time to enjoy what you already have.
9/26/10
Yesterday
Yesterday, we took the kids to the Pelican Festival. A little event close to home with vendors, carnival rides and most importantly kettle corn. We ate at Dairy Queen and even ran into our friends the Campbells!
The Campbells are another family brought together through adoption. If you do not follow Campbell Family Party of 3, check them out here.
Mandy Campbell just became a Scentsy consultant and I agreed to host an online party. You do not have to live near us Okies, she will mail your order right to you. Click on her site here and then click Anna Mitchell under "Open Parties" to order. Mandy is an adoptive momma and she needs our support to kick off her new business venture!
Here's some photos from our fun day. Of course, I forgot my camera so phone pics are all I have.
The Campbells are another family brought together through adoption. If you do not follow Campbell Family Party of 3, check them out here.
Mandy Campbell just became a Scentsy consultant and I agreed to host an online party. You do not have to live near us Okies, she will mail your order right to you. Click on her site here and then click Anna Mitchell under "Open Parties" to order. Mandy is an adoptive momma and she needs our support to kick off her new business venture!
Here's some photos from our fun day. Of course, I forgot my camera so phone pics are all I have.
Merge
My first blog was my family blog, about a year later I began blogging at Adoptive Momma of Two. Since then I have kept up with two blogs often having posts overlap. A month or so ago I purchased the domain www.adoptivemomma.com since then I had contemplated merging my two blogs into one.
Surprisingly, it was much easier than I expected to merge and I am now from this point forward only posting here, at Adoptive Momma of Two. If you follow my other blog too, it is no longer necessary. I will post about adoption and my family in this one location. My life just became a little bit easier and more organized!
Surprisingly, it was much easier than I expected to merge and I am now from this point forward only posting here, at Adoptive Momma of Two. If you follow my other blog too, it is no longer necessary. I will post about adoption and my family in this one location. My life just became a little bit easier and more organized!
9/23/10
Adoptive Parent Means...
Every month we receive a newsletter from Adoption Affiliates. The newsletter is usually filled with helpful information and articles. This month's newsletter included what it means to be an adoptive parent and I wanted to share:
You Know You're An Adoptive Parent If:
You Know You're An Adoptive Parent If:
- The fact that there are 143 million children without a parent to kiss them goodnight has ever made you lose sleep.
- You realize DNA has nothing to do with love and family.
- You can't watch Adoption Stories on TLC without sobbing.
- You spend free time surfing blogs about families who have experienced the blessing of adoption.
- It drives you crazy when people ask about your adopted child's "real" parents.
- You have ever been "pregnant" with your adoptive child longer than it takes an elephant to give birth...2 years.
- You had no idea how you would afford an adoption but stepped out on faith anyway knowing where God calls you He will provide.
- You have ever taken an airplane ride halfway around the country or world with a child you just met.
- You realize that welcoming a child into your heart and family is one of the most important legacies you could ever leave on earth.
- You have welcomed a social worker into the most private parts of your life.
- You shudder when people say your child is so lucky that you adopted them, knowing full well you are the blessed one to have him or her in your life.
* Courtesy of Connecting Hearts: Pride and Joy a publication of Adoption Affiliates, Inc. Vol. 22 No. 3, September 2010
9/22/10
Slacker
I've slacked off on my blogging lately. I used the start of school and all the birthday celebrations as an excuse. The truth is, I cannot seem to pull myself away from these boys...
Could you?
Could you?
Today
Today was nothing special. We didn't do anything noteworthy. We did however do this...
I take as many pictures as I can, even when we are not doing anything special. These days are short lived and I don't ever want to forget.
9/21/10
How Much?
A question often asked after a failed placement is, "did it cost a lot?" or "did you lose money?" Sometimes the person asking is being nosey and other times they are truly interested in adoption and it's pitfalls. Before answering these questions, I should give the following disclaimer...I can only speak for our agency and our personal experience. I am not an accountant or a tax attorney.
We did not lose money due to our failed adoptions. Our agency does not collect fees in full until finalization. The fees paid before finalization are the home study and application fees which are only charged once, unless the home study expires and requires an update then a fee is incurred. Any payments made toward the adoption finalization are not lost and will be credited toward the next adoption. This is not always true of all agencies. Many agencies will charge for each adoption attempt. Please make sure and research your financial risks before signing a contract with an adoption agency, facilitator, or adoption attorney.
Our previously failed adoption was included in our taxes when we finalized Rogan's adoption. The failed adoption, Rogan's adoption and finalization all occurred within the same tax year. We claimed all those expenses. We were also able to carry over some expenses to the following tax year. I do not know the ins and outs of the adoption tax credit. We hire a professional accountant to prepare our tax returns. We rely on his professional knowledge. It remains to be seen if we are able to deduct expenses incurred during the most recent adoption attempt. This time, we did not have travel and hotel expenses. Our expenses were minimal. My advice is to always keep your receipts and to ask a professional. The cost of professional tax preparation is generally worth it in the end.
I have heard, but have no official source that failed foreign adoptions are not tax deductible only a finalized international adoption. We have only adopted domestically. Again, ask a professional or do your research.
We did not lose money due to our failed adoptions. Our agency does not collect fees in full until finalization. The fees paid before finalization are the home study and application fees which are only charged once, unless the home study expires and requires an update then a fee is incurred. Any payments made toward the adoption finalization are not lost and will be credited toward the next adoption. This is not always true of all agencies. Many agencies will charge for each adoption attempt. Please make sure and research your financial risks before signing a contract with an adoption agency, facilitator, or adoption attorney.
Our previously failed adoption was included in our taxes when we finalized Rogan's adoption. The failed adoption, Rogan's adoption and finalization all occurred within the same tax year. We claimed all those expenses. We were also able to carry over some expenses to the following tax year. I do not know the ins and outs of the adoption tax credit. We hire a professional accountant to prepare our tax returns. We rely on his professional knowledge. It remains to be seen if we are able to deduct expenses incurred during the most recent adoption attempt. This time, we did not have travel and hotel expenses. Our expenses were minimal. My advice is to always keep your receipts and to ask a professional. The cost of professional tax preparation is generally worth it in the end.
I have heard, but have no official source that failed foreign adoptions are not tax deductible only a finalized international adoption. We have only adopted domestically. Again, ask a professional or do your research.
9/20/10
Birthday Complete!
Finally, Brice's birthday is complete. His birthday fell on Labor Day this year and we were unable to hold his birthday party until this weekend.
He chose a Spiderman birthday party and we reserved a shelter at our local park for approximately 30 friends and family members. The weather was hot for this time year but did not put a damper on the fun. The kids ran and played until they could run no more. Brice said to his dad so after the last guest left, "let's go home." He had had all the fun he could handle.
When we came home both boys went down for a nap so we put together his present from his grandparents...a trampoline. When he woke up from his nap he was still too tired to fully enjoy it. He sat on it and played with his new superheroes but not until last night was he truly able to enjoy his trampoline to it's full potential.
Today it was back to normal. Grandma and Grandpa left this morning, Brice went off to school and Brian to work. Rogan and I were left to clean up the aftermath and get a little nap in too.
He chose a Spiderman birthday party and we reserved a shelter at our local park for approximately 30 friends and family members. The weather was hot for this time year but did not put a damper on the fun. The kids ran and played until they could run no more. Brice said to his dad so after the last guest left, "let's go home." He had had all the fun he could handle.
When we came home both boys went down for a nap so we put together his present from his grandparents...a trampoline. When he woke up from his nap he was still too tired to fully enjoy it. He sat on it and played with his new superheroes but not until last night was he truly able to enjoy his trampoline to it's full potential.
Today it was back to normal. Grandma and Grandpa left this morning, Brice went off to school and Brian to work. Rogan and I were left to clean up the aftermath and get a little nap in too.
9/14/10
Road Trippin' Granny Update
I told you in my Tough Cookie post that Road Trippin' Granny had fallen and broken her femur last month while visiting our family. Well, since her fall she has been hitting the gym! She has been attending regular physical therapy sessions and working hard to regain her strength and mobility.
My mother has been staying with her the past couple of weeks at her home in Kansas helping to care for her and driving her to and from her appointments. Apparently, my mom has also been making sure Granny is doing her exercises because today they went to the doctor and Granny was released.
Tomorrow Granny hits the road again. Only this time, she will be driving herself to her physical therapy session. My mom will stay with her the rest of the week until my dad arrives this weekend to pick her up and bring her home.
Granny fell on August 14th, she was released from the doctor's care on September 14th following a major medical procedure. Generally when a senior falls and breaks a leg/hip they may lose their independence, not my grandma. She is truly one tough cookie!
9/13/10
Differences
Brice began school last week and this month's theme is "All About Me". The class will focus on family, friends, school and favorite things. Ms. Stacy his teacher, requested photographs for the kids to make a collage. I spent part of my morning printing photos to send to school wit h him.
This activity got me to thinking, I wonder if Ms. Stacy needs to know Brice is adopted. We have not told her, although it is not a secret. We have no real reason for not sharing this information, it may come up but so far it has not. Brice has not quite grasped what adoption means although if I ask him if he's adopted he responds, "yep, I'm dopted." Since Brice does not fully understand the meaning yet, we doubted it would come up in the classroom for him this year.
Activities like "All About Me" will in the future require us to make sure his teachers know he's adopted. Often, adoptive parents are concerned about family tree activities, genealogy assignments and family history home work. I guess I may be naive', but I have not concerned myself with this issue. Either has Brian I suppose, because we have only briefly discussed it. Here are my thoughts on this issue, don't condemn me for them if you do not agree they are just my feelings right or wrong. I am certain my thoughts and views will evolve and change as our children age and we are presented with situations where their adoptions are relevant.
We all have differences. Adoption is a difference my kids have from some of their classmates. No big deal. Differences occur in each of us. I was different from my friends when I was little because I was an only child and my parents were not divorced. My friends were different from me because they had step siblings, half siblings, two families. Some of my friends were adopted by their step parents and/or grandparents. Not the same as my children, but adopted nonetheless.
My kids will go to school with children from all backgrounds. Some will have a single parent, some will be raised by their grandparents, some with same sex parents, some will have step families, and some may be adopted. We are all different in our own way. Our families come together from all directions. Ours just happened to come together through adoption.
When I tell my kids they are adopted, keeping in mind they are young and I try to keep it age appropriate, I tell them this means you have twice as many people who love you in the world and you can never be loved by too many. When I send update letters and photos to the agency, Brice will usually include a drawing or picture he's colored. I tell him we are sending this to your birth family. As the boys age and begin to understand, of course we will expand our explanation.
Brian and I have a philosophy in our home. If we treat adoption as no big deal, it won't be. If we use the term adoption in our home regularly it will become part of our family's normal vocabulary, making it easier to understand for our kids.
Right or wrong this is how we have decided to handle adoption in our home. Our children are adopted but that does not make them who they are. Adoption is part of their identity but only a fraction of the whole story.
This activity got me to thinking, I wonder if Ms. Stacy needs to know Brice is adopted. We have not told her, although it is not a secret. We have no real reason for not sharing this information, it may come up but so far it has not. Brice has not quite grasped what adoption means although if I ask him if he's adopted he responds, "yep, I'm dopted." Since Brice does not fully understand the meaning yet, we doubted it would come up in the classroom for him this year.
Activities like "All About Me" will in the future require us to make sure his teachers know he's adopted. Often, adoptive parents are concerned about family tree activities, genealogy assignments and family history home work. I guess I may be naive', but I have not concerned myself with this issue. Either has Brian I suppose, because we have only briefly discussed it. Here are my thoughts on this issue, don't condemn me for them if you do not agree they are just my feelings right or wrong. I am certain my thoughts and views will evolve and change as our children age and we are presented with situations where their adoptions are relevant.
We all have differences. Adoption is a difference my kids have from some of their classmates. No big deal. Differences occur in each of us. I was different from my friends when I was little because I was an only child and my parents were not divorced. My friends were different from me because they had step siblings, half siblings, two families. Some of my friends were adopted by their step parents and/or grandparents. Not the same as my children, but adopted nonetheless.
My kids will go to school with children from all backgrounds. Some will have a single parent, some will be raised by their grandparents, some with same sex parents, some will have step families, and some may be adopted. We are all different in our own way. Our families come together from all directions. Ours just happened to come together through adoption.
When I tell my kids they are adopted, keeping in mind they are young and I try to keep it age appropriate, I tell them this means you have twice as many people who love you in the world and you can never be loved by too many. When I send update letters and photos to the agency, Brice will usually include a drawing or picture he's colored. I tell him we are sending this to your birth family. As the boys age and begin to understand, of course we will expand our explanation.
Brian and I have a philosophy in our home. If we treat adoption as no big deal, it won't be. If we use the term adoption in our home regularly it will become part of our family's normal vocabulary, making it easier to understand for our kids.
Right or wrong this is how we have decided to handle adoption in our home. Our children are adopted but that does not make them who they are. Adoption is part of their identity but only a fraction of the whole story.
9/9/10
Giveaway!
A faithful follower of Adoptive Momma of Two is having a wonderful giveaway on her blog and it is ending tomorrow!! Please hurry over to her blog and enter to win...
a copy of The Open Adoption Experience. Go over to Kiara's blog now and enter to win. Hurry, she will be drawing the winner's name tomorrow afternoon. Thanks Kiara for letting link up to your blog and spread the word about this awesome giveaway! Good luck everyone.
Happy Birthday Brian!
Today was Brian's 34th birthday! In celebration of his day he came home from work early. The kids and I got him a new grill, we ate king crab legs for dinner then had ice cream cake. Happy Birthday!
Helpful Info
Rogan was ready for a larger car seat so we moved him to Brice's seat and bought Brice a new booster. Well yesterday, I read this article and the seat Rogan was in was "Not Recommended". Even though the car seat met all the safety requirements it was "Not Recommended" by those conducting the safety tests. What's the point of having a car seat if it doesn't do it's job?
So today, Rogan and I set out to get him a new seat too. I took the list with me and found a "Best Bet" car seat that would fit him now and he could grow into.
When I arrived at Babies R Us I noticed they were having a trade in event. Trade in your old car seat, high chair, bassinet, stroller, play yard, crib, travel system, or toddler bed and get 25% off a new one. Excellent. I had to remove the old seat and install the new one in the parking lot in the rain, but totally worth it.
I was a little embarrassed to turn in my car seat covered in crusty Cheerios and Lord knows what else but it was no dirtier than the others. Car seats are gross, they just are.
I thought others in the same boat and ready to upgrade would find this information helpful. Want to know more about your state's child safety laws...click here.
**AM2 did not receive anything in return for mentioning retail chains or brand names in this post.
So today, Rogan and I set out to get him a new seat too. I took the list with me and found a "Best Bet" car seat that would fit him now and he could grow into.
When I arrived at Babies R Us I noticed they were having a trade in event. Trade in your old car seat, high chair, bassinet, stroller, play yard, crib, travel system, or toddler bed and get 25% off a new one. Excellent. I had to remove the old seat and install the new one in the parking lot in the rain, but totally worth it.
I was a little embarrassed to turn in my car seat covered in crusty Cheerios and Lord knows what else but it was no dirtier than the others. Car seats are gross, they just are.
I thought others in the same boat and ready to upgrade would find this information helpful. Want to know more about your state's child safety laws...click here.
**AM2 did not receive anything in return for mentioning retail chains or brand names in this post.
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