2/16/12

It's Not Easy

Finalizing an adoption in our county is not easy.  It is difficult, gut wrenching, stressful, frustrating and has caused me more anger than I believe I have ever experienced.  It shouldn't be this hard. It shouldn't be a miserable experience...but it is.

We are now waist deep in our second Oklahoma finalization and it is pure misery.  I cannot sugar coat it.  Sorry.  Perhaps other parts of the state are more adoption friendly, I certainly hope so.

So far we have been asked to submit additional information not required by statute.  We have resubmitted background checks and today received a list of virtually everything already attached to the home study to be resubmitted yet again.  The court doesn't have the attachments.  Perhaps they walked away, I don't know.  At this point I am ready to hop in the car, deliver them personally, and staple the package to someone's forehead.

Uh, but instead we'll play the game.  We'll resubmit everything 5 or 10 times if necessary.  We'll jump through their hoops like a circus monkey because that is what has to be done to finalize.  We have no choice.  We are at the court's mercy.

You think you have faced your biggest obstacle when you overcome infertility and manage to build a family over the past decade via adoption.  You like to believe you are on the downhill side of the process then you are met with resistance and incompetence.

I am ready to get it all over with, I am ready to be done.

I had held off on writing a post on our frustrations.  I did not want to shine a light on the inadequacies of the court.  After all, my husband makes his living in that courthouse.  The legal system puts food on our table but I could not hold my frustrations in any longer.  I am ready to scream from the hilltops, "don't adopt from Oklahoma, do not try to finalize in the Oklahoma court system.  Run to Texas or any other neighboring state and adopt.  Run Forrest run!"

Oh boy I feel better.  Rant complete.  Climbing down from my soapbox now.

1 comment:

Jamie said...

I'm so sorry you have to go through that, but you already know it will be worth it in the end! :)