Where to Start

When we started the adoption process Brian and I didn't know where to begin, we didn't even know if adopting a newborn within the United States was possible. We started by contacting an attorney that Brian had worked for during college. He had done some adoption placements and we thought he might be able to help. He told us the first step was to have a home study. Okay, what's a home study we thought.

A home study is not as scary as it may sound. A social worker will come to your home and visit with you. It's not a white glove inspection where he/she walks around and checks your shelves for dust and dirt. They don't dig through your cabinets and drawers looking for anything suspicious. In our experience, the social worker will come into your home, sit down with you and ask you questions about your decision to adopt. You'll be asked to fill out some paperwork, complete a background check, and provide proof of identification and health insurance. It's really not a big deal. Depending on where you live, follow up visits with the social worker pre and post placement may be required.

Another first is to locate a reputable adoption agency. We knew we wanted to adopt within the United States and we contacted the foster care network and quickly decided fostering wasn't for us. During our home study, the social worker we located via the web, told us about an agency in Texas called Adoption Affiliates. (Note: Adoption Affiliates generally works with families located in Texas and Oklahoma see sidebar for agencies located in your state) The social worker had worked with Adoption Affiliates for several years and told us we might want to contact them. Adoption Affiliates was a perfect fit for us. The agency had been around for many years, placed mostly newborns or children under one year of age, offered open and semi open adoptions, placements occurred generally within one to two years, and the agency worked hand and hand with a law firm who made sure all the proper paperwork was filed with the courts.

If you are starting the adoption process, I would suggest you really look into an agency. Interview them and ask lots of questions. Our main concern was the legal process. We did not want a birth family to change their minds and have our baby taken away. Fortunately for us, the agency we chose had a long standing reputation and always made sure all legal documents were signed and filed with the courts. Once the documents are finalized, there is no turning back.

Our agency required all prospective adoptive parents to attend a welcome seminar. We were apprehensive about this and didn't really know what to expect. We were nervous going in and thought it might be really uncomfortable when we were told we would meet birth mothers who had placed their babies with adoptive families and we would also be meeting adoptive parents who had used Adoption Affiliates as their adoption agency. We were relieved after the seminar was over. It was great. We learned so much and walked away with a new perspective on the whole process. It was very interesting to listen to birth mothers talk about their decision and why they chose to make an adoption plan. It was also interesting to listen to adoptive families talk about what it was like to adopt and to bond with a child that isn't biologically yours.

If you agency offers a seminar to familiarize you with the process, I would highly recommend you participate. We sure were glad ours was mandatory and we definitely learned a lot.

In the sidebar are some links to websites that could help you locate an agency in your area. Below are some additional links you may find helpful:
http://www.myadoptionagencies.com/
http://www.americanadoptions.com/
http://www.adoptionnetwork.com/
http://www.adoptionisachoice.com/