As I have previously blogged, I had five early term miscarriages. I do not recall the dates. I generally know the time period. I mourned the losses and processed my feelings coming to terms with my fate.
I know many disagree with my feelings. I have known some to say they did not feel like a mother until after their baby came home. Others became mothers as soon as they learned of their pregnancy. I am not wrong and neither are they. The feeling of motherhood comes upon us each differently.
Perhaps because we quickly moved onto adoption after our many miscarriages and we were soon matched with our son that I kept my feelings of motherhood at bay until he was in my arms. I loved him instantly, even before I ever saw him but did not truly feel like his mother until I held him. Also, I never heard a heart beat or felt a baby in womb. Certainly, a later loss would have changed my thoughts on this topic.
This discussion began in a forum I frequent and I found the different feelings and beliefs to be intriguing. I felt it would make an a good post. I do not believe there is a right or wrong. It is however interesting that many of us feel so differently.
When did you become a mother?
