12/30/09
Our 2009
We had a very busy 2009, we spent a lot of time at the zoo and aquarium. The boys had some major milestones. Brice finally started talking more and began calling me Boss, we're still laughing about that one. Rogan began to crawl and started walking this month. He is also starting to use more words. Brice started swim lessons and loves the water. We found a church we enjoy attending and the boys have fun in their Sunday school classes.
I started another blog, Adoptive Momma of Two and have corresponded with people from all over about adoption. I continue to blog about current events and issues in adoption. I was blessed to be able to stay home with my boys for another year. I spend my days playing, blogging, taking photos and just enjoying my life as a mom to two active boys.
Brian's store Out South Wine & Spirits celebrated one year of business in November. We are also going to be starting another business. Brian resigned from his law firm this month and will be opening his own firm with two other attorneys in February. His firm will be Neuens, Mitchell and Freese.
We took a couple of vacations. Brian and I went to Seattle in April and we took a family vacation to Texas in July. We were also able to meet up with most of my family in Texas over Thanksgiving.
In July, we lost our Fisher, he was a good dog and Brice's buddy. Maggie has proven herself to be a very patient ol' dog and lets Brice torment her daily.
Our sleeper sofa continues to get regular use. The Grandparents are here every month to visit their grandsons. They love to see the kids and spend as much time with them as possible.
We have had a great year, the above is just the highlights. We're looking forward to 2010! Happy New Year everyone!!
I started another blog, Adoptive Momma of Two and have corresponded with people from all over about adoption. I continue to blog about current events and issues in adoption. I was blessed to be able to stay home with my boys for another year. I spend my days playing, blogging, taking photos and just enjoying my life as a mom to two active boys.
Brian's store Out South Wine & Spirits celebrated one year of business in November. We are also going to be starting another business. Brian resigned from his law firm this month and will be opening his own firm with two other attorneys in February. His firm will be Neuens, Mitchell and Freese.
We took a couple of vacations. Brian and I went to Seattle in April and we took a family vacation to Texas in July. We were also able to meet up with most of my family in Texas over Thanksgiving.
In July, we lost our Fisher, he was a good dog and Brice's buddy. Maggie has proven herself to be a very patient ol' dog and lets Brice torment her daily.
Our sleeper sofa continues to get regular use. The Grandparents are here every month to visit their grandsons. They love to see the kids and spend as much time with them as possible.
We have had a great year, the above is just the highlights. We're looking forward to 2010! Happy New Year everyone!!
Look Who's Walking!
Rogan is on the move...finally! He started walking the week before Christmas and hasn't stopped. I guess he finally built up enough courage to do it on his own. He has had the ability to walk for quite some time but wouldn't unless he was holding onto you, your pinky finger at least. As soon as you would wiggle your little finger loose, he would drop to his knees and crawl. I guess he decided it wasn't really that far to fall and he could do it all on his own. Merry Christmas to us...we have a toddlin' toddler!
Exploring what he can get into next...
He's multi talented, walking and drinking his milk...
Still using his arms for balance...
Hmmm, wonder what there is to walk to out there?
12/29/09
A New Look
I spent some time yesterday and today updating my blogs. They both have a new look! Starting the new year with updated blogs. Hope you like them!
Blogging in 2009
I started this blog on July 14, 2009 and I have completed 91 posts since then. I have shared my stories, discussed recent adoption issues, answered your questions, and shared posts from adoptees. I hope you have enjoyed it as much as I have and are also looking forward to 2010. Thanks for reading my blog and commenting on my posts. I read all your comments, emails and do my best to follow your blogs too.
Here's where it all began...my very first post.
~Adoptive Momma of Two
Here's where it all began...my very first post.
~Adoptive Momma of Two
12/28/09
12/26/09
A Blizzard
We had blizzard conditions on Christmas Eve. We accumulated a lot of snow fall and our house ended up looking like this
All the snow made Brian and Brice anxious to get outside and do this
We had a wonderful white Christmas with our family and hope you did too.
A White Christmas
We had a very nice Christmas with Brian's parents.We had a blizzard on Christmas Eve. We haven't heard the official accumulation totals our guesstimate would be about 6 to 8 inches.
Unfortunately, Rogan started to get a runny nose on Christmas Eve and we did end up in the ER on Christmas day because he had begun to wheeze and his symptoms were getting worse pretty quickly. Luckily, he only has bronchitis.
We ate a lot, played games, watched movies, and played in the snow.
Unfortunately, Rogan started to get a runny nose on Christmas Eve and we did end up in the ER on Christmas day because he had begun to wheeze and his symptoms were getting worse pretty quickly. Luckily, he only has bronchitis.
We ate a lot, played games, watched movies, and played in the snow.
Special Needs Adoption
12/21/09
Christmas is Coming!
It's almost here, and we're a little behind. No surprise. So instead of cleaning, doing laundry, Christmas shopping, and getting ready for guests...I'm blogging. Yep, that's how responsible I am. My kids are in bed, I just read them 'Twas the Night Before Christmas. My poor husband is at yet another holiday function for work. This time of year is not all that fun for him, he has a lot of mingling to do.
So here's where we're at, we've not purchased one Christmas present. Nope, not one. Yep, it's Dec 21st and not one. This is the norm for us. We get it all done in one night, in a few hours. We make a list, limit our shopping to a couple of stores, avoid the mall like the plague, and we're done.
Usually we're done before now, but in previous years we have been able to take the kids with us and get away with purchasing gifts in their presence and they are none the wiser. Brice is 4 yrs old now and we can no longer do that. So...we are waiting for the grandparents to arrive and babysit their grand babies so we can get to it and do it!
Don't worry, the boys will have toys come Christmas day. I have faith in Ol' Saint Nick.
So here's where we're at, we've not purchased one Christmas present. Nope, not one. Yep, it's Dec 21st and not one. This is the norm for us. We get it all done in one night, in a few hours. We make a list, limit our shopping to a couple of stores, avoid the mall like the plague, and we're done.
Usually we're done before now, but in previous years we have been able to take the kids with us and get away with purchasing gifts in their presence and they are none the wiser. Brice is 4 yrs old now and we can no longer do that. So...we are waiting for the grandparents to arrive and babysit their grand babies so we can get to it and do it!
Don't worry, the boys will have toys come Christmas day. I have faith in Ol' Saint Nick.
Adoptive Momma of Two Has the Answers!
I received several emails and a couple comments on my Just Ask Me? post. Here are my answers. I did my best to answer each question fully and to the best of my ability.
1. Will you adopt again or is your family complete with two?
1. Will you adopt again or is your family complete with two?
We go back and forth on this one all the time. We think we're done, maybe we're done, well we'd do it again if it didn't cost so much, maybe someday we'll be able to afford it, two is a nice number, three would be nice, well maybe...
Did that answer your question? We're confused too.2. My question for you would be how do you feel about your semi open adoption?
We feel that semi open adoption was best for us. It's a personal choice and you have to decide what you are most comfortable with. There are many proponents for open adoption but that is not for everyone. It was not for us.
We chose to use our agency's Texas office even though they have an office here in our town. We felt more comfortable with a state line between us. We live in a town of approximately 400,000 people, but we still run into people we know on a regular basis at the grocery store, Wal-Mart, Target, etc. We did not want to be shopping and turn down an aisle and run into a birth parent unexpectedly.
We send correspondence and photos on a regular basis, generally 3 times a year. We have never received anything in response from the birth parents. If they were to send something to the the agency we would accept it. I believe it is important to continue to send items even without a response because they may change their minds someday, perhaps they are just not ready yet.
I believe there are pluses and minuses to either choice. In an open adoption, the child would have an ongoing relationship with their birth parent(s), but that could also become confusing or overwhelming. For instance, if a birth parent chooses to discontinue communication or contact a child could possibly feel rejected. In a semi open adoption, the child does not have the ongoing relationship. It is the responsibility of their adoptive parents to tell them their adoption story. The child then decides on their own if they want to meet their birth parent(s) when they are older.
This discussion could go back and forth for days. Everyone must weigh their options and decide what is best for them.3. My question is about the parent profile books. What did you use when y'all were making your book? Did you do it the old fashioned way, by scrap booking it, or did you do everything digitally? If you did it digitally, did you use a certain template?
We did it the old fashion way I guess. It wasn't really a scrapbook. I did purchase a few photo frames, stickers and page borders in the scrapbook aisle. I used card stock paper, photos, and printed short narratives directly onto the card stock or cut and pasted them onto it. I dressed up the pages by framing the photos, using a few stickers and adding a border on some. I kept it fairly simple because I did not want to put the focus on the decoration and not the content.
After finishing the pages, I took them to FedEx Kinko's and had them copied and bound. Using copies gave it a clean look. The pages were smooth, neat, and did not look like a scrap book. We used a clear plastic cover, plastic backing, and plastic spiral bounding.
Our agency provided us with old profiles to review and model from during one of our meetings. We were not given the option of digital books and did not consider it. If I were a birth mother, I would rather have something to hold and thumb through again and again, rather than review from a computer screen. It would seem more personal to me, but that is only my opinion.
I did a post on creating our portfolio, here.I'm out of time to answer questions this time, have to go feed my family. I'd be happy to spend time answering more at a later date. Keep them coming at adoptivemomma2@yahoo.com.
12/18/09
Ten Years Ago Today...
We got hitched.
We have had a great time the last 10 years. Happy Anniversary to us!
12/16/09
My Funny Boys
My boys crack me up every day. Here are a few examples of their latest funnies.
1. Last week Brice acted up in swimming lessons and had been in trouble. When his dad came home from work he asked Brice what had happened in swim class and why he had been trouble. Brice's response "I already know row, row, row." Row, row, row is the phrase his teacher uses to get the kids to paddle with their arms. Apparently, he mastered that skill.
2. I took the boys out to eat the other day and they had been good so I bought a couple of cookies at the counter to take home and have for dessert. They are both cookie monsters. When we got into the car Brice said, "Ohhhh Boss we got some cookies!" while shaking his fists in front of him trying to contain his enthusiasm. I started to back out of our parking place and when I turned around Brice said, "Come on Boss hurry we got cookies!"
3. Rogan had been napping and I opened his door to peek in on him today. As I slowly opened his door and looked into his crib he was lying there smiling up at me and he quickly blew me a kiss. Awww, melts my heart. Such a sweet boy.
4. Lastly, we were grocery shopping today. We were on the cracker aisle and Brice said he wanted some Cheez-Its. I picked up a box and put them in the cart. Brice started to cheer for me and said, "Woo hoo Boss, way to go! You did it!" Grocery shopping is much easier and a lot more fun when you have your own cheering squad.
Never a dull moment with my boys. They keep me smiling and laughing. I sure am a lucky Momma/Boss.
1. Last week Brice acted up in swimming lessons and had been in trouble. When his dad came home from work he asked Brice what had happened in swim class and why he had been trouble. Brice's response "I already know row, row, row." Row, row, row is the phrase his teacher uses to get the kids to paddle with their arms. Apparently, he mastered that skill.
2. I took the boys out to eat the other day and they had been good so I bought a couple of cookies at the counter to take home and have for dessert. They are both cookie monsters. When we got into the car Brice said, "Ohhhh Boss we got some cookies!" while shaking his fists in front of him trying to contain his enthusiasm. I started to back out of our parking place and when I turned around Brice said, "Come on Boss hurry we got cookies!"
3. Rogan had been napping and I opened his door to peek in on him today. As I slowly opened his door and looked into his crib he was lying there smiling up at me and he quickly blew me a kiss. Awww, melts my heart. Such a sweet boy.
4. Lastly, we were grocery shopping today. We were on the cracker aisle and Brice said he wanted some Cheez-Its. I picked up a box and put them in the cart. Brice started to cheer for me and said, "Woo hoo Boss, way to go! You did it!" Grocery shopping is much easier and a lot more fun when you have your own cheering squad.
Never a dull moment with my boys. They keep me smiling and laughing. I sure am a lucky Momma/Boss.
Special Needs Child
I received the following comment on my BlogFrog post:
Do you know anyone who would be interested in international adoption of a little boy with arthrogryposis (joint issues, he's cognitively typical and can walk!!) I am so desperately trying to find him a home!Please contact Molly at roneydapony@aol.com if you are interested.
The Winner Is...
The winner was chosen from the comments left and my followers using www.random.org. The random generator chose Mike and Katie as the winner of the customized notebook! Congratulations Mike and Katie!! Thank you for being a loyal follower of Adoptive Momma and Two. Send me an email at adoptivemomma2@yahoo.com and I will give you the details of how to claim your prize. Thanks to everyone who entered.
12/14/09
Christmas Light Display
We took the boys to the huge light display at Rhema Bible Church on Friday. Part of the display is set up for you to get out of your warm toasty vehicle and walk through the lights. We bundled up and experienced it all. It was a lot of fun.
Blog Frog
Great news for BlogFrog members. If you have a community on your blog like I do, listen up: BlogFrog will make a $10 donation to Children's Hospitals for every community who adds 20 new members (who either start a new discussion or reply to an existing one) before the end of the year! Be sure to post about this on you own community!
See the BlogFrog widget in the left sidebar to join Adoptive Momma of Two's community!!!
See the BlogFrog widget in the left sidebar to join Adoptive Momma of Two's community!!!
12/12/09
A Giveaway!
It's been awhile but it is the season for giving and I am holding a giveaway for my readers! This giveaway is for a notebook by Snapfish.com
You can choose a notebook with lined pages, blank pages, an address book, daily planner or a birthday reminder book. The notebook can be customized with a photo of your choice, add a message to the cover or inside cover and chose your design if you win! Winner will be chosen using random.org.
Here's how to enter to win:
1. Leave a comment on this post.
2. Comment on my "Just Ask Me" post by leaving a question for me to answer.
3. Blog about Adoptive Momma of Two. Leave me a link to your blog in a comment on this post.
4. Become a follower of Adoptive Momma of Two. All followers will be automatically entered to win.
The winner will be announced Wednesday, December 16th. All entries must be received by December 15th at 5:00 p.m. CST.
Here's how to enter to win:
1. Leave a comment on this post.
2. Comment on my "Just Ask Me" post by leaving a question for me to answer.
3. Blog about Adoptive Momma of Two. Leave me a link to your blog in a comment on this post.
4. Become a follower of Adoptive Momma of Two. All followers will be automatically entered to win.
The winner will be announced Wednesday, December 16th. All entries must be received by December 15th at 5:00 p.m. CST.
Just Ask Me?
I get a lot of questions by email and I usually just respond to each one individually. I am providing you an opportunity to ask me ANYTHING you want. Yep ANYTHING, adoption related or not. I will accumulate all appropriate questions and publish the answers in a post for all to read. So go ahead, what do you want to know? Send me an email at adoptivemomma2@yahoo.com or ask your questions in a comment on this post. Looking forward to it!
12/11/09
Oh Brice
I'm in the laundry room folding laundry, Rogan is napping and Brice is playing quietly in his room...or so I think. Brice comes into the laundry room and says "uh Boss, look". He is standing there holding the curtain rod from his bedroom. It is bent in half. How does he do it? How did he even get up there? Amazing. He's in timeout now.
A Lazy Bunch
The boys and I are still in our pjs, it's 10:30 a.m, and we're okay with it. Being so lazy is pretty unusual for us, we generally get around fairly early. We woke up early, but haven't bothered to get dressed. Maybe it's the cold weather? We've been watching some Christmas movies (the old claymation movies that are on TV every year) and playing in Brice's room. The boys just went down for naps. How convenient that they are already in their bed clothes! I guess it's time to get around and accomplish something today. We plan to head to the Rhema drive through light display tonight. I hope to have some good pictures to post afterward. Brice may go into cardiac arrest when he sees all those lights. He is so excited he can hardly stand it!
12/10/09
Naming Your Baby
Choosing a name for your child can be a long and tedious process many people agonize over. Do you choose a family name, a simple name, or something unique? People can really get worked up when it comes to naming their children; some people but not us. Again, Brian and I took another issue of parenting and laughed our way through it. We did actually consider some family names, although only briefly. No offense to any of our family members but we did not like any of their names enough to use them.
We ended up choosing names solely because we liked them. We wanted short names with only one or two syllables. We wanted something people could pronounce and was less common but still not too unusual. We tried not to consider any names on that year's Top 100 list.
We chose Brice's name pretty early on, but for the life of us we could not come up with a middle name. During the process of trying to come up with a middle name for him, I was taking a real estate class. One of my classmates was talking about her son Carter, I liked it. I came home and told Brian, I think I found a middle name. He said, "it's not Carter is it?" Apparently, Brian had been watching the movie Coach Carter while I was gone. Well, that's it. It was fate. We ended up with Brice Carter.
For our second adoption, we had our list of names we had come up while waiting for Brice. We still liked a few of them, but could not agree on one. I was doing some research on the internet about baby names and we sort of liked Logan but it was too common. I found Rogan as an alternative for those who liked Logan. I mentioned it to Brian and he really liked it too. We had always liked the name Blake, but again it was fairly common so we used it as his middle name.
Our boys' names have no special meaning, we just liked them. According to www.babyhold.com; Brice is English and means "swift". The meaning seems fitting since the child never stops going and runs everywhere. Rogan is Irish and means red haired. We find this hilarious since he is olive skinned, brown haired, brown eyed, and half Hispanic.
In adoption, names can become an issue. Sometimes, birth parents will choose a name and you will have to decide to keep the name they chose or change it. In our cases, Rogan's birth mother did not name him and we told her the name we had chosen and she said she liked it. Brice's birth father did name him and had a name on his original birth certificate. We did tell the family we had chosen a name and they knew we would be changing it. The name chosen by his birth father was not significant to the family, he just liked it. We did keep a copy of Brice's original birth certificate so he will have it when he gets older and can see the name his birth father chose. Also, his birth name is on all his court documents.
Many adoptive parents will work together with the birth parents to chose a name or will use a name chosen by the birth parents as their child's middle name. I did hear of an agency recently whose adoption contract has a clause that adoptive parents will use the name chosen by the birth parents, if the birth family chooses to name their child. This contractual obligation seems unusual to me and could become an issue if birth parents chose something extremely unusual.
For the record, we never really had any girl names set in stone. We did have a few ideas but never settled on any one. I guess we just knew we'd be having boys.
12/8/09
Updated: Special Needs Children
Another email received today:
I belong to a couple of Yahoo adoption groups. I receive emails from time to time about children available for adoption. I do not know the validity of these emails. If you are interested, please follow up.
We have lots of waiting children, from toddlers to teens on our photolisting.
Please check out the page and see if your child is waiting for you there. Please note, none of the children on this site are in the U.S., travel is required for their adoption. Viktor can be adopted by a single person.
http://waitingchild ren.wordpress. com
Please check out the page and see if your child is waiting for you there. Please note, none of the children on this site are in the U.S., travel is required for their adoption. Viktor can be adopted by a single person.
http://waitingchild ren.wordpress. com
I belong to a couple of Yahoo adoption groups. I receive emails from time to time about children available for adoption. I do not know the validity of these emails. If you are interested, please follow up.
If anyone is interested in special needs adoption of a newborn...specifica lly a baby boy with Spina Bifida, please contact me privately for more information.
Christina
justthemomforthejob@yahoo.com
Hello,
I have written out to the group before about a wonderful little adoption agency in Homewood, Alabama. Family Adoption Services is currently looking for an adoptive family with a big heart. A baby girl was born and is thought to be MR. The doctor is checking her again today to check on the full diagnosis of this precious baby girl, but they are in need of adoptive families willing to adopt this gorgeous girl.
If you are interested, please contact Susan at Family Adoption Services. Their website with contact information is: www.familyadoptionservices.com
Thank you!
Ilyssa
Christina
justthemomforthejob@yahoo.com
Add to Contacts | |
| waitingtoadopt@yahoogroups.com |
Hello,
I have written out to the group before about a wonderful little adoption agency in Homewood, Alabama. Family Adoption Services is currently looking for an adoptive family with a big heart. A baby girl was born and is thought to be MR. The doctor is checking her again today to check on the full diagnosis of this precious baby girl, but they are in need of adoptive families willing to adopt this gorgeous girl.
If you are interested, please contact Susan at Family Adoption Services. Their website with contact information is: www.familyadoptionservices.com
Thank you!
Ilyssa
12/7/09
Which Agency Did You Use?
I have been asked about our agency a few times lately, so thought I would answer questions in a post. The agency we used was Adoption Affiliates for both Brice and Rogan's adoptions. Adoption Affiliates' main office is in San Antonio, TX. They have one office in Tulsa, OK and additional offices in Texas located in Austin and El Paso.
Adoption Affiliates has been placing children for approximately 30 years. They mainly place newborns and infants. Placements generally occur within 1 year, although 2 years is a possibility. Adoption Affiliates limits the number of adoptive families they work with to approximately 20 per year. This allows for a shorter waiting periods for adoptive parents.
Our total cost was approximately $25K per adoption. The total costs include travel expenses, home study, and attorney fees. The only up front cost we incurred was the home study which was about $1500. If for some reason, you experience a failed adoption (birth mother changes her mind, etc.) you do not have to pay your fees again. This is not always the case with other agencies. Adoption Affiliates does their best to make sure you do not experience a failed adoption, but it does happen. We were chosen by a birth family, met them and were prepared to adopt their son who was to be born within a month and they changed their minds. It happens, we were however chosen again within a few months and Rogan was placed with us.
We waited 5 months with Brice and 10 months with Rogan. Second, third, fourth, etc. children can be an extended waiting period just because birth mothers will sometimes chose a childless couple over a family with children. Birth mothers chose their adoptive family by reviewing portfolios. Adoption Affiliates will assist you in getting started on your portfolio and give you tips on making a good portfolio.
Adoption Affiliates requires prospective adoptive families to attend an initial seminar. The seminar lasts about half a day and you will meet birth mothers who have placed children using the agency, other adoptive families and their children, the foster mothers the agency uses, and receive general information about the agency and adoption. You will also be provided the opportunity to review portfolios previously created by adoptive families. The seminar is very informative and helpful, especially to first time adoptive parents.
Adoption Affiliates generally works with families from Oklahoma and Texas. They do however work with families in other states if they have children with special needs and/or more birth mothers than they have adoptive families.
I believe I have answered the general questions I am often asked, if not email directly at adoptivemomma2@yahoo.com. Also, please keep in mind that we have not adopted in over a year and a half and the information I provide is from our experience. Fees and procedures change and my information can become outdated. If you want current information you should contact Adoption Affiliates directly at 1-800-270-6757 TX or 1-800-253-6307 OK.
Adoption Affiliates has been placing children for approximately 30 years. They mainly place newborns and infants. Placements generally occur within 1 year, although 2 years is a possibility. Adoption Affiliates limits the number of adoptive families they work with to approximately 20 per year. This allows for a shorter waiting periods for adoptive parents.
Our total cost was approximately $25K per adoption. The total costs include travel expenses, home study, and attorney fees. The only up front cost we incurred was the home study which was about $1500. If for some reason, you experience a failed adoption (birth mother changes her mind, etc.) you do not have to pay your fees again. This is not always the case with other agencies. Adoption Affiliates does their best to make sure you do not experience a failed adoption, but it does happen. We were chosen by a birth family, met them and were prepared to adopt their son who was to be born within a month and they changed their minds. It happens, we were however chosen again within a few months and Rogan was placed with us.
We waited 5 months with Brice and 10 months with Rogan. Second, third, fourth, etc. children can be an extended waiting period just because birth mothers will sometimes chose a childless couple over a family with children. Birth mothers chose their adoptive family by reviewing portfolios. Adoption Affiliates will assist you in getting started on your portfolio and give you tips on making a good portfolio.
Adoption Affiliates requires prospective adoptive families to attend an initial seminar. The seminar lasts about half a day and you will meet birth mothers who have placed children using the agency, other adoptive families and their children, the foster mothers the agency uses, and receive general information about the agency and adoption. You will also be provided the opportunity to review portfolios previously created by adoptive families. The seminar is very informative and helpful, especially to first time adoptive parents.
Adoption Affiliates generally works with families from Oklahoma and Texas. They do however work with families in other states if they have children with special needs and/or more birth mothers than they have adoptive families.
I believe I have answered the general questions I am often asked, if not email directly at adoptivemomma2@yahoo.com. Also, please keep in mind that we have not adopted in over a year and a half and the information I provide is from our experience. Fees and procedures change and my information can become outdated. If you want current information you should contact Adoption Affiliates directly at 1-800-270-6757 TX or 1-800-253-6307 OK.
12/6/09
Adoption
Longing for a child to love,
I'd wish upon the stars above.
In my heart I always knew,
a part of me was meant for you.
I think how happy we will be,
once I adopt you and you adopt me.
I dream of all the joy you'll bring,
imagining even the littlest things.
The way it will feel to hold you tight,
and tuck you in every night.
The drawings on the refrigerator door,
childhood toys across the floor.
The favorite stories read again and again,
hours of games with make-believe friends.
The day you took my outstretched hand,
a journey ended, but our lives began.
Still mesmerized by your sweet face,
still warmed inside by our first embrace.
I promised to give you a happy home,
a loving family all your own.
A house you've now made complete,
with laughter, smiles and tiny feet.
A parent is one who guides the way,
know I will be there everyday.
Rest easy as each night you sleep,
a lifetime of love is yours to keep.
Author: Teri Harrison
I'd wish upon the stars above.
In my heart I always knew,
a part of me was meant for you.
I think how happy we will be,
once I adopt you and you adopt me.
I dream of all the joy you'll bring,
imagining even the littlest things.
The way it will feel to hold you tight,
and tuck you in every night.
The drawings on the refrigerator door,
childhood toys across the floor.
The favorite stories read again and again,
hours of games with make-believe friends.
The day you took my outstretched hand,
a journey ended, but our lives began.
Still mesmerized by your sweet face,
still warmed inside by our first embrace.
I promised to give you a happy home,
a loving family all your own.
A house you've now made complete,
with laughter, smiles and tiny feet.
A parent is one who guides the way,
know I will be there everyday.
Rest easy as each night you sleep,
a lifetime of love is yours to keep.
Author: Teri Harrison
12/4/09
Birthmother Video
I have received this video by email about a half dozen times this week. What are your thoughts and reactions?
Origins - Protecting the natural right of Mothers to nurture their children from saravideoproducer on Vimeo.
Origins - Protecting the natural right of Mothers to nurture their children from saravideoproducer on Vimeo.
Protective of Birth Mothers
I find myself becoming protective of the birth mothers of our boys. I take it personally when someone says something condescending about them. For instance, as I've said before Brice was speech delayed. He has improved immensely and now talks non stop and cracks me up on a daily basis.
While at the grocery store a couple of weeks ago, I ran into a local professional who knows the boys are adopted. She asked if Brice was talking now and how he was doing. I told her he had started speech therapy and was talking up a storm. She was glad to hear it and stated she wondered if something had happened in utero that may have caused his delay.
I brushed the comment off and excused myself stating my family was waiting in the car, which they were. I said my goodbye and headed for the checkout. I didn't tell Brian about what she said, but it bothered me. I continued to think about it and became defensive about it.
I take offense when judgments are made about the birth families of our boys. Few know anything about their birth families because we feel it's personal information that doesn't need to be shared. People do however make assumptions and judgments. I cannot stop them, but it will continue to frustrate me. Not all birth families are addicted and poverty stricken.
My Boys
My boys play hard all day. They go non stop until they can go no more. Nap time generally occurs when they fall where they are. This week, we've been running around a lot and getting ready for Christmas and a quick day trip back to Missouri. A couple of photos below of my boys collapsed from a hard day of playing together. Also an attempt at a Christmas photo of the boys, Brice really isn't choking his little brother as it may appear. He really does love his little brother.
12/3/09
Christmas Card
We took a self portrait last night for our Christmas card. It took only a few minutes and turned out pretty well, we think. We could not believe the boys actually cooperated. Brice jumped into place and said, "CHEESE!". We'll get them sent out soon and I'll post the final product after they have all been mailed.
It's Their Story, Not Mine
I will share with you details of my feelings, emotions, and personal experiences with adoption and infertility. I will share with you the joy and happiness our boys have brought to our lives. I will give you advice from my experience and offer any help I can to adoptive families and prospective adoptive families. I love to advocate adoption.
I will not however tell you personal details or histories of my boys' birth families. Those stories belong to my boys and it is their decision to share or not to share. It's their story, not mine.
I will not however tell you personal details or histories of my boys' birth families. Those stories belong to my boys and it is their decision to share or not to share. It's their story, not mine.
12/2/09
The Blindside
Brian and I were able to get away over the Thanksgiving holiday and see a movie together. We made it a goal to go see the movie The Blindside over the holiday. We generally rush out to see any movie about sports, especially true stories. The Blindside not only features football but adoption as well.
I do not want to give away any of the details, but the film was great. Very inspiring. Although the adoptive family is incredibly wealthy and they are adopting a high schooler, it is still relatable. The Blindside portrays many feelings adoptive families have, for example adopted children change our lives and make us better people, instead of us changing theirs.
As far as I'm concerned, you cannot go wrong with Tim McGraw. Sandra Bullock is wonderful as well. The little boy who plays the Tuohy's youngest son is a riot. I loved him. If you get a chance hurry out to go see it.
I do not want to give away any of the details, but the film was great. Very inspiring. Although the adoptive family is incredibly wealthy and they are adopting a high schooler, it is still relatable. The Blindside portrays many feelings adoptive families have, for example adopted children change our lives and make us better people, instead of us changing theirs.
As far as I'm concerned, you cannot go wrong with Tim McGraw. Sandra Bullock is wonderful as well. The little boy who plays the Tuohy's youngest son is a riot. I loved him. If you get a chance hurry out to go see it.
"There is never so much love in the world that reaching out is a bad idea."
— an adopted child.
— an adopted child.
Are You All Right?
We had Thanksgiving dinner at my cousin Tracee's house this year. After a big dinner we decided some of us would take a walk to the playground nearby and let the kids go play for a while. We get to see Tracee and her husband Derek on a regular basis because they live only a few minutes away from my parents. Tracee is about 5 months pregnant and her belly has really started to show.
Tracee, Brice, my mom and I had walked out of the house ready to head to the playground. We were waiting in the driveway for a few others to join us when Brice looked at Tracee, pointed to her belly, and asked her "Are you all right?" I guess he finally noticed her belly and thought she had something wrong with her.
Poor boy he's never been around pregnancy before. As far as he knows, you go on vacation, fall asleep at a water park, and wake up to a baby brother. That is the way it worked for him.
Tracee, Brice, my mom and I had walked out of the house ready to head to the playground. We were waiting in the driveway for a few others to join us when Brice looked at Tracee, pointed to her belly, and asked her "Are you all right?" I guess he finally noticed her belly and thought she had something wrong with her.
Poor boy he's never been around pregnancy before. As far as he knows, you go on vacation, fall asleep at a water park, and wake up to a baby brother. That is the way it worked for him.
12/1/09
Elves
Just because they are so hilarious! Click the link below to see the Mitchell Family Elves
http://elfyourself.jibjab.com/view/52qLh7HagyzoJudsT1k9
http://elfyourself.jibjab.com/view/52qLh7HagyzoJudsT1k9
So What's Wrong With You?
As discussed in a previous post Being The Infertile One, I revealed that our inability to have children was my fault. Due to the fact that I am the cause of our infertility, I am often asked, "What's wrong with you? Why can't you have kids?"
MTHFR, or that is all the doctor's could come up with. It is a rare genetic defect. It is the genetic defect that doctors have used to try and explain my inability to carry a pregnancy to term. I usually just tell people when they ask why I can't have biological children "I'm a genetic mutant". If they know me well enough, they usually respond, "oh, well that explains a lot." Sarcasm. It's just my way of dealing with what life hands you.
I'm not a doctor. I do not understand medical terminology. I can however do my best to explain to you what MTHFR is. MTHFR stands for Methylenetetrahydrofolate Reductase . Whew! That's a mouthful. Many people do not even realize they carry the defective gene until they have had several pregnancy losses. In my case, I had five early term miscarriages. Methylenetetrahydrofolate Reductase is the name of the gene that produces an enzyme by the same name. The mutation of this gene can inhibit the production of this enzyme and create elevated homocysteine levels. When the body is deficient in Methylenetetrahydrofolate Reductase it becomes unable to absorb folic acid and certain B vitamins. As most know, folate and Vitamin B are essential in healthy fetal development.
There are two types of MTHFR gene mutations heterozygous and homozygous. Homozygous being the most problematic and of course the type of mutation I have. All this being said, MTHFR mutations are an unproven cause of miscarriages and continue to be researched and debated. MTHFR can be treated, but in my personal situation, treatment was not guaranteed and the risks for certain birth defects was too high.
To make a long and difficult to understand story short, I was sick of being poked and prodded with instruments and needles. I had more vials of blood drawn from my body than I care to ever count. The doctors told me I could continue to get pregnant, certain drugs and supplements could possibly help, but I would likely miscarry again. They also told me I would run a higher risk for many birth defects, preeclampsia, blood clots, and stillbirth. I didn't want to continue to take the risk. I didn't want to have another miscarriage. I was tired. I was emotionally and physically spent. I felt like a lab rat.
In the end, we weighed our options to continue or to look into adoption. Brian and I made the decision to pursue adoption. We felt it was the best decision for us. We have never looked back. Our lives have been blessed and our hopes for parenthood fulfilled.
If you would like more information on MTHFR visit:
http://www.pregnancy-info.net/mthfr.html
http://miscarriage.about.com/od/thrombophiliadisorders/i/mthfr.htm
http://circ.ahajournals.org/cgi/content/full/111/19/e289
If you would like more information on MTHFR visit:
http://www.pregnancy-info.net/mthfr.html
http://miscarriage.about.com/od/thrombophiliadisorders/i/mthfr.htm
http://circ.ahajournals.org/cgi/content/full/111/19/e289
11/30/09
Birth Mom v. Adoptive Mom
There are many stereotypes that plague birth moms: too young, promiscuous, uneducated, poor, addiction to drugs and/or alcohol. Birth moms do not necessarily chose adoption because they fit into the above stereotypes. They have many reasons for their own personal decision.
Stereotypes are also placed on adoptive parents, especially adoptive mothers. We are sometimes thought of as desperate to have a child, wealthy and arrogant. Well, I can certainly tell you we are not all rich. Not even close. Although I wanted to be a mother very badly, I do not believe I ever became desperate. Brian and I discussed the possibility of not becoming parents and what our lives would be like.
I think the stereotypes surrounding adoption are used to separate birth moms and adoptive moms. In actuality, I think we may be more alike than different. We both love our children so much we would do anything for them. The love we have for our children cannot be measured. I do not believe I am doing a better job of raising my boys than their birth mothers would have done. We all try our best as mothers and to do what is right. Although the circumstances surrounding their birth mothers and me may be different, we will always have one common link. We love our boys.
Stereotypes are also placed on adoptive parents, especially adoptive mothers. We are sometimes thought of as desperate to have a child, wealthy and arrogant. Well, I can certainly tell you we are not all rich. Not even close. Although I wanted to be a mother very badly, I do not believe I ever became desperate. Brian and I discussed the possibility of not becoming parents and what our lives would be like.
I think the stereotypes surrounding adoption are used to separate birth moms and adoptive moms. In actuality, I think we may be more alike than different. We both love our children so much we would do anything for them. The love we have for our children cannot be measured. I do not believe I am doing a better job of raising my boys than their birth mothers would have done. We all try our best as mothers and to do what is right. Although the circumstances surrounding their birth mothers and me may be different, we will always have one common link. We love our boys.
Kenya
My cousin recently returned from a mission trip to Kenya. After returning, he learned last week that the orphanage he was working at had been burglarized and people were raped and injured. They are attempting to raise funds to insure safety and to provide counseling for the victims. If you would like to learn more please visit my cousin-in-law's blog at
http://carefulshesplashes.blogspot.com/2009/11/breathin-in-and-outs-blessing-cant-you.html
You can learn more and find out how you can help. Thanks for taking the time to learn more.
http://carefulshesplashes.blogspot.com/2009/11/breathin-in-and-outs-blessing-cant-you.html
You can learn more and find out how you can help. Thanks for taking the time to learn more.
Family
We had a fun Thanksgiving! My 83 year old grandmother was able to come to Thanksgiving this year. I believe this holiday was the most time I have been able to spend with my grandma in years; if not ever. We played a lot of cards, told a lot of stories, remembered my grandfather, and she got to know my boys. Great Grandma and Brice became good buddies.
We had about 20 family members at my cousin's house for Thanksgiving. There were several members still missing, who were not able to make the trip and we missed them. We played games, took the kids to the playground and ate so much food it was embarrassing. I think fun was had by all.
Family can be a lot of fun, this is the most fun we have all had together in years. Hope everyone else's Thanksgiving was as enjoyable.
Brice showing his Great Grandma how his puzzle is done.
We had about 20 family members at my cousin's house for Thanksgiving. There were several members still missing, who were not able to make the trip and we missed them. We played games, took the kids to the playground and ate so much food it was embarrassing. I think fun was had by all.
Family can be a lot of fun, this is the most fun we have all had together in years. Hope everyone else's Thanksgiving was as enjoyable.
11/27/09
I'm An Adoptee Too
A friend I have known since kindergarten answers my questions.
32 year old male
1. How old were you when you were adopted?
32 year old male
1. How old were you when you were adopted?
I was a newborn
2. How were you told you had been adopted and at what age?
2. How were you told you had been adopted and at what age?
12 and my parents told me at the dinner table
3. Were you ever spoken to in a negative way about being adopted by friends, classmates or family members? My parents had said a few times that they wished they had gotten another kid instead of me and that they could tell I was not theirs.
3. Were you ever spoken to in a negative way about being adopted by friends, classmates or family members? My parents had said a few times that they wished they had gotten another kid instead of me and that they could tell I was not theirs.
4. How did you handle questions or comments about your adoption?
Never really had questions from anyone, my friends were very supportive and most of them were adopted as well.
5. Did you ever seek out your birth parent(s)?
5. Did you ever seek out your birth parent(s)?
I did but was told I could not find them.
6. Were your adoptive parents supportive of your decision to meet or to find your birth parent(s)?
6. Were your adoptive parents supportive of your decision to meet or to find your birth parent(s)?
They acted like they were but they knew I could never find them, because my files were sealed
7. What made you want to find your birth parent(s) or to meet them?
Started out just wanting to know why they didn't want me but then after my parents started to say things to me it made me want to find them more even though I knew I could never find them.
8. Has adoption affected you positively or negatively?
I think in the long run it has been negative.
9. Do you have siblings? Biological or adopted?
adopted sister
10. If you have adopted siblings, was it beneficial to have someone you could relate to?
My sister was adopted as well but we havent spoken in years partially because of the way I was adopted.
11. Do you view adoption in a positive light?
I do because there are alot of good people that would be great parents and I would not be alive if that weren't true
12. Would you like to adopt? Why?
Yes I want to adopt, I want to give a child a chance and a great home
13. Any advice for adoptive parents whose children may be experiencing negative feelings about being adopted?
Just be honest with them about anything they have questions on
14. What would be your number one piece of advice for adoptive parents?
Don't hide anything
15. Anything else you would like to share? Anything prospective adoptive parents or those who have already adopted should know?
Don't talk negative to them about it and don't hold it over their head
7. What made you want to find your birth parent(s) or to meet them?
Started out just wanting to know why they didn't want me but then after my parents started to say things to me it made me want to find them more even though I knew I could never find them.
8. Has adoption affected you positively or negatively?
I think in the long run it has been negative.
9. Do you have siblings? Biological or adopted?
adopted sister
10. If you have adopted siblings, was it beneficial to have someone you could relate to?
My sister was adopted as well but we havent spoken in years partially because of the way I was adopted.
11. Do you view adoption in a positive light?
I do because there are alot of good people that would be great parents and I would not be alive if that weren't true
12. Would you like to adopt? Why?
Yes I want to adopt, I want to give a child a chance and a great home
13. Any advice for adoptive parents whose children may be experiencing negative feelings about being adopted?
Just be honest with them about anything they have questions on
14. What would be your number one piece of advice for adoptive parents?
Don't hide anything
15. Anything else you would like to share? Anything prospective adoptive parents or those who have already adopted should know?
Don't talk negative to them about it and don't hold it over their head
11/23/09
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)