Save A Child- Adopt! Day 4 NIAW

National Infertility Awareness Week continues into day 4 of the week and I have chosen the myth...People adopt to "save a child".  I have already touched on my feelings about this in previous posts, including yesterday's post.

We did not adopt to "save a child".  Our reasons were much more selfish.  We chose to adopt because we wanted to be parents. We sought a path to form our family.  We wanted kids.

In the adoption triad; if you are unfamiliar with that term it means the three sided relationship (adoptee, birth parents, adoptive parents) in adoption.  Within the adoption triad if you needed to place the title of savior on anyone it would be the birth mother.

The birth mother saved her child.  She chose life.  She chose to place her child with a family instead of having an abortion.  She held her baby's life in her hands.  She decided to carry and care for a baby within her for nine months knowing in the end she would leave empty handed. She decided to give her child life even if it wasn't with her. Savior, not us, we are the ones who reap the rewards of her decision.

She saved us too.  She saved us from being a childless couple.  She filled a hole in our hearts and our lives.  She chose us and made us parents.  We will be forever grateful.

Tomorrow's myth..."as soon as you adopt, you'll get pregnant".


Duffy Batzer said...

And who is to say you are saving a child. Just because a mother chooses to place her child for adoption does not mean she would have been a "bad" mother.

Jenn said...

gosh this is so beautifully written. We are selfish too, we just want to be parents! :) And ummm... I say pftzzz to the above comment- I'm adopted, and my birthmother is an amazing mother to her two other girls (I was her first, she was in college). But, had she chosen to keep me, she would not be married to who she is now, and she would not have the life she has now, nor would I have had the very blessed life I have had. Sorry, my two cents on that!

Adoptive Momma said...

Duffy you may have missed what this blog post was all about. "Saving a child" is a myth, rumor, untruth that as an adoptive parent I am trying to dispel. If you would have read my post yesterday, you would have seen that I said just that...my children's birth mother would have done just fine.

DMN said...

Great post!

Mike and Katie said...

This is so true! It is the birth mothers who deserve the praise for enduring the pregnancy, pain and potential humiliation to give her child life.

Maru said...

Great post. Beautiful!