Waiting During the Holidays

This is a post I did last year about this time and I felt it was worth reposting. Making patience your virtue during the holidays is easier said than done but is a goal worth setting.  Happy holidays, please enjoy the season.

Waiting to adopt during the holidays can be especially difficult.  It seems during this time of year everything centers around families and children. Everywhere you turn you are reminded, you are waiting to become a parent.

Here are a few tips:

1. Take a trip just the two of you.  If you cannot handle all the baby talk and questions during the holidays get away from it.  If you can afford it take a trip even if it is somewhere close to home.
2.  Take care of each other.  Often it is just as hard for your partner as it is for you during the holidays.  Instead of letting the stress get to you and possibly causing arguments open the lines of communication and talk about it.  You are going through this journey together learn to lean on each other.
3.  Remind others you are waiting to adopt on your holiday a greeting card.  It never hurts to gently remind people you are waiting and if they know of a birth parent looking to place their child they should contact you.
4.  If you get the dreaded, "so when are you going to start your family?" or "any news on the adoption" be kind and simply say, "we are always hopeful and cannot wait to share our news when the time comes". 
5.  Keep a journal.  Write down your feelings, your future child will appreciate reading about your anticipation and desire for their arrival someday.
6.  Scope out your family events before you attend.  If you are going to be surrounded by pregnancy and you do not think you will be able to handle it...skip out if you can.  Perhaps you can explain to those closest to you who will hopefully understand.
7.  Get support, join an adoption support group. 
8.  If you are going shopping over the holidays, avoid the baby section.

Listed below are the sources I used to develop this list and some are from my own experience.  Check out the sources listed below for additional ideas and support. 




Vicky said...

I totally Get this one!! And My poor husband... We have a foster son right now and will learn on the 9th if he's ours for ever or if he'll be spending Christmas somewhere else. And we have a private adoption due Christmas Day which has it's own fears.

KAM said...

I needed this. I've been having a tough time over the past few weeks. Waiting is SO hard! I hope you don't mind if I repost this on my blog - www.our-new-normal.com.


Jonelle said...

Thank you for posting this.