Here We Go Again...

I had another bone head comment last week this time from my son's preschool teacher.  She immediately realized her mistake and began to back pedal.  She felt uncomfortable enough with her comment; I did not feel the need to say anything to her.  I think she will choose her words more carefully next time.

As I mentioned before Brice is a little delayed on his communication skills and he gets frustrated easily because he cannot communicate his wants.  His inability to communicate with his teacher has caused a couple of issues in class.

The conversation went something like this:
Me: Yes, Brice and Rogan were both adopted.
Her: How long have they been with you?
Me: Since birth.
Her: Really, they look like your husband. He kind of looks Hispanic. (Um okay, he doesn't but whatever.)
Me: Yeah, everyone thinks Brice looks like Brian.  So, we're learning as we go along as far as behavioral issues, communication issues, etc. We met his biological sister when she was his age and believe she was probably delayed as well. She did not talk a lot and was a very active child also. Perhaps some of his communication delays are hereditary. We don't know.
Her: We'll it's like that with your own kids too. Uh, I mean, I mean...your biological kids. Uh yeah, there is always a learning process.
Me: I guess so.  Well, see you later.

Whose kids does she think Brice and Rogan are?  They are our own kids.  We are their parents.  It drives me crazy when people say, "your own kids".  I know they mean biological, but it is a poor choice of words.  I did not get upset because I know she realized her error.  It bothers me, especially when it is said in front of Brice.  He may not be able to communicate effectively all the time, but he understands everything he hears. They are our own kids; just as much as her two boys are hers.  Here is a short little list of the wrong things to say.  If you hear someone use these phrases or terms, feel free to correct them.

1. His/her real parents- Instead say birth parents.

2. Adoptive parents- Use this or adoptive family to differentiate between us and the birth parents. Otherwise, we're just their parents.  No need to give us the extra title*.  We don't call you their c-section parents or their natural delivery parents.

3. Own child- Biological, natural or birth child.

4. Illegitimate- Born to unwed parents

5. Give away or give up- Placed for adoption or made an adoption plan.

*I know the title of my blog totally contradicts this statement, but by adding the word adoptive to my blog title it separates me from other blogging mommas and leads people to my little ol' blogosphere.