10/20/09

Present During Delivery

As I mentioned in my last post, I was in the delivery room when our youngest son was born.  I did not ask to be present and I was reluctant to be there.  I played out ways in my head to get out of it.  I never mentioned it and hoped she would change her mind.  She didn't.  Rogan's birth mother wanted me there.  She made it very clear she wanted her aunt and me to be the ones with her during the birth.  I reluctantly agreed.

My reason for being apprehensive about being in the delivery room, I was scared she would change her mind.  I was afraid I would share this emotional experience with her and her aunt only to have her decide to raise him.  I was being selfish.

Her reason for her request, she knew I would never experience child birth.  She said his birth would be as close as I would get.  She wanted me to see my son born.  Wow.  How thoughtful, unselfish and caring of her.  Was it not enough she was allowing me to parent her child?  How could I say no?  I couldn't.  She made me realize how selfish I was being.  I was concerned for my own feelings. 

I was there, barely if you read my previous post.  I saw him enter the world; I helped coach her through labor.  His birth was my only experience with child birth.  I have no sisters, no one would probably ever ask me to be a part of their delivery again.  It was amazing.  Something I'll never forget.

Rogan's birth mother experienced three days of labor.  Brian and I were there with her during all of it.  Brian made many food runs to fix all her cravings and meet all her wants.  We held her hand, shared stories, got to know her.  We watched her endure physical and emotional pain.  After Rogan was born, we continued to visit her room until she was released from the hospital.  We ate meals together and talked with her and her family.  We felt like we really got to know her and we will be able to tell Rogan a lot about her.  She was a special person.  I believe most birth mothers are.

4 comments:

Amber Benge said...

Thanks for sharing this. It really helped me process being "in the room" for the birth and what that experience might be like.

KLTTX said...

We were in the room for Samuel's birth. It was an amazing experience that I am glad we'll get to tell him about.

Confessions of a Mom said...

I'm moved to tears of joy. thanks for sharing.

the inadvertent farmer said...

I missed the birth of our daughter because I was on a plain flying across the US trying to get there in time...she decided to come early. I was on the runway in Nashville when I got the word she was here.