Pass Along Cards Giveaway!

This week's giveaway is sponsored by KJane Designs.  Thanks to Kendra at KJane Designs for donating a set of pass along cards to one lucky winner!  The cards generally sell for $40 for a set of 100 one sided cards.  You could win these cards personalized just for you for free!  Here is a sample of the card you are entering to win:

You may enter to win several times by completing the following.  The more items you complete the better your chances of winning these adorable cards:

1. Visit KJane Designs and leave a comment on this post letting me know you visited her site and what item was your favorite.
2. Comment on this giveaway post.
3. Become a follower of Adoptive Momma of Two.
4. Blog about Adoptive Momma of Two and this giveaway. Be sure to send me a link so I can visit your blog.
5. Add the Adoptive Momma of Two button to your blog.  Be sure to send me the link so I can visit your blog.
6. Become a member of Adoptive Mommas on Facebook.
7. Leave me a separate comment each time you fulfill one of the above tasks and you will be entered to win. The more you complete, the better your chances!
8. If you are already a follower or a Adoptive Mommas Facebook member leave me comments to let me know.

I will draw a winner using http://www.random.org/ on Saturday 09/05/09 morning. Your opportunity to enter to win will end on Friday 09/04//09 at 5 p.m. CST.

Be sure to visit KJane Designs and look at all the wonderful items she has available.  My favorite item is the Custom KJane Designs Photo Album.  A wonderful gift for your child, a personalized book all about them.  An excellent item for their adoption box!

Feeling Guilty

When Brian and I took our boys home, we felt guilty. We felt we did something wrong, we hurt someone else, we took their child.

Our first adoption is kind of a blur. We were swept up in a whirlwind and it seems everything happened so fast. I am thankful I kept a short journal of it all or we probably wouldn't be able to tell Brice about it when he gets older.

The one day we remember very vividly is the day we took him home. We had a small ceremony at the agency which included the birth family. At the conclusion of the ceremony there were a lot of tears, hugs and thank yous. I remember holding our son while hugging his birth family members. Brice's birth mother was obviously distraught and until that morning, she had not laid eyes on him. She had chosen not to see him at the hospital. His birth father had seen him through the nursery window and in the delivery room, but had not been close enough to touch him. It was heart wrenching as they told him goodbye. I held him in my arms, with Brian next to me as they did so. Brice's maternal birth grandfather was there and I think he crushed our hearts the most. You could see the pain is his eyes as he said goodbye to his biological grandson. Brian said to me, you can see he knows he will probably never see this boy again. I'm shedding tears as I write this. I guess I still have some guilt even today.

Our second adoption was easier. I do not know if it was because we had already gone through it once before or if it was because Rogan had to stay in the hospital for 13 days and we were the only ones with him during that time. His birth mother was checked out of the hospital two days after his birth. She asked Brian and I if she could come say good bye to him. Of course, Brian and I were very nervous about her wanting to see him and we obviously started to think, oh no she's changing her mind. The social worker told us not to worry it was a good sign, it was closure for her. We still worried of course until the relinquishment paperwork was signed. Our little ceremony this time took place in the hospital cafeteria and his birth mother was not present.

Rogan was born early and his arrival was kind of chaotic. Brian had to return to work during Rogan's stay in the hospital. I stayed with our parents during that time and always had someone with me to help take care of Brice while I went to the hospital. When Rogan was released he was released to us, but since our home is about 4 hours away Brian was not with me. My mother was with me and it was kind of neat for her to experience bringing her grandson home from the hospital. I didn't have as much guilt this time, but I said to my mom; doesn't it feel weird to just walk out of the hospital with him? She agreed.

I am certain we are not the only ones to feel guilty or to have felt we did something wrong. I think it is probably common. I do not spend my days thinking of our sons' birth families but I do think about them. Especially, this time of year when Brice is getting ready to celebrate his birthday and Rogan celebrated his a couple of months ago. This is the time of year I send update letters to the agency for the birth families.

I do not know if I will always have a little guilt but I do know I will always be grateful; grateful for the chance to have my boys.

"Today I kissed an angel

I knew it from the start

the first time my angel smiled at me

I gave away my heart

today I kissed an angel

this angel child of mine

though not of my creation

my child by God's design

today I kissed an angel

my heart is dancing wild

a family, by a miracle

blessed by this angel child"

Author: Unknown

Just Like Daddy

Brian came home from work today and mowed the lawn, with a little help from his favorite almost 4 year old.

Legal Hoops

Those of us who have adopted know there are a lot of legal hoops and paperwork when it comes to getting your adoption finalized.  Those of you who are in the process of adopting you are learning this painful reality.  Although there are a lot of legal hoops and hoopla, the reward is great.

We received a simplified chart of the Legal Aspects of Adoption from Adoption Affiliates when we adopted our boys.  I want to share this chart with you because it helps to clear up some of the fuzzy areas.  Please keep in mind this chart is based on our adoptions which took place in Texas.  The waiting periods and legal requirements may differ in your state.  I still wanted to share.  You may right click on this image to print or save.

I also found another helpful resource Adoption General Information Packet 1 posted on Child Welfare Information Gateway.  This packet was published in 2004 by the National Adoption Information Clearinghouse and is a collection of factsheets addressing the steps involved in agency and independent adoptions, the homestudy process, and the legal aspects of adoption.

To download the packet in pdf format click here.

I hope you find these illustrations, factsheets and sites useful and informative.

Congratulations!

Annaliessa Baird won the books donated by Tapestry Books.  Congratulations Annaliessa!  Send me an email at adoptivemomma2@yahoo.com with your address and I'll send them to you immediately.  Enjoy your books.

Sorry, We're Closed

I love to get up and around in the mornings.  Sorry, that's a lie.  I hate getting up, but I love to go and do activities during the morning hours.  My boys and I usually do all our running around before noon.  These hours seem to work out the best for us.  Usually stores and parks are less crowded.  We are home for lunch, which prevents us from eating fast food.  We are able to be home by nap time which usually happens around 1 p.m. in our house.  In the summers we beat the heat. 

So today was no different, we were up and at em' and ready to go.  I had big plans for us today.  We were going to go to the Riverwalk, play at the Fun House, have a treat at Marble Slab Creamery, play in the fountains, then head home for lunch and a nap.  I figured we'd be there before everything opened, but we could easily kill time playing on the walking trails and in the fountains.  Well, little did I know nothing opens along the river before 11:00 a.m.  What's the deal?  There were plenty of people around, probably potential customers for the all the little shops and boutiques. 

Instead, we played on the trail,  ran through what would have been the fountains (had they been turned on), and window shopped for a little while.  Soon, we loaded back up and headed to the playground, it's always open.  I guess, it doesn't pay to be the early bird in the these parts.  I was going to try again this afternoon but of course it was cool, cloudy and rainy. 

Here's a picture of my boys enjoying the small waterfall at the entrance.  It was the most excitement they had at the river today.

Snake Wranglers

Brice loves to play with his toy snakes.  We have rubber snakes, pillows shaped like snakes, wooden snakes, plastic snakes, we make snakes from Play Doh.  We have a whole lot of snakes around here, no real ones though.  I think Brice is passing along his passion for snakes to his little brother.  Here are a few pictures of my little snake wranglers playing together yesterday.

Let's Talk Adoption

Everyday I receive email correspondence from people who have visited my blog.  Emails are received from adoptive parents, birth mothers, adoptees, and adoptive parents in waiting.  I love to visit each person's blog who provides me with their link and to read their stories.  I think it is essential to communicate with others who have gone through the adoption process, from all sides. 

I love providing you with my opinions and experiences, but it is always beneficial to speak to others, you will find that every story is different.  Making connections with others provides us with opportunities to gain knowledge and understanding. 

I had an email conversation with my husband's cousin who is adopted.  She contacted me when I started this blog.  She stated she thought Adoptive Momma of Two was a great idea and felt more people needed to hear about successful domestic adoptions.  She offered to answer my questions.  I jumped at the chance to learn from her perspective.  I wanted to be prepared to answer questions from my boys someday.  I want to be supportive when they come to fully understand their adoption stories.  How else will I learn?

Since, I have connected with so many great people through this blog; I wanted to provide an opportunity for you to connect with each other.  Therefore, I set up a community in The Blog Frog for you to ask questions of each other, tell your stories, debate ideas, and express your opinions.  I only ask that you always keep it civil and polite.  Not everyone shares the same opinions and values as you.  Being different is what makes us special.  If you cannot play by the rules, you will be dismissed from the community.  So, play nice.  If you would like to join The Blog Frog community click on the link on the side bar and join.  I look forward to observing and possibly adding to the discussions.  Now go and learn from each other!

A Chance to Win Tapestry Books

This giveaway is thanks to a generous donation from Tapestry Books.  As I mentioned before Tapestry Books specializes in adoption literature.  Visit Tapestry Books and make sure to add their button to your blog...I did!

Tapestry Books has donated three children's books to make an excellent prize for one lucky winner.  The books are:

THE MULBERRY BIRD
By Anne Braff Brodzinsky, PhD
THE MULBERRY BIRD uses the story of a mother bird who decides to place her baby bird for adoption to explain to young adoptees why birthparents might choose adoption for their child.

OH, HOW YOU MAKE MY HEART SING! A Heartfelt Story of Adoption
By Beverly Wright
Mama Kitten is faced with the dilema of putting her unborn child up for adoption but wants to be certain that he will go to a special home, a place where he will make hearts sing.

 

ADOPTED AND LOVED FOREVER
By Annetta E. Dellinger
A young child describes what it means to be adopted emphasizing that parents of adopted children chose them, love them, and will never leave them.  

For your chances to win:

1. Comment on this giveaway post.
2. Become a follower of Adoptive Momma of Two.  
3. Blog about Adoptive Momma of Two and this giveaway.  Be sure to send me a link so I can visit your blog.
4. Become a member of Adoptive Mommas on Facebook.
5. Leave me a comment each time you fulfill one of the above tasks and you will be entered to win.  The more you complete, the better your chances!
6. If you are already a follower or a Adoptive Mommas Facebook member leave me comments to let me know.

I will draw a winner using http://www.random.org/ on Saturday 8/29/09 morning.  Your opportunity to enter to win will end on Friday 8/28/09 at 5 p.m. CST.  Thanks for supporting my site and adoption!

Zoo

The boys and I went to the zoo today. 

We saw lots of animals,

We ate lunch,

Played on the playground,

Shared an ice cream,

Brice rode a camel all by himself

The boys rode the carousel

We tired ourselves out.

Our Weekend

Our weekend was completely uneventful and somewhat lazy.  Exactly how we like them around here. 

We played dinosaurs...

Called the grandparents... 

Had a few laughs...

Went for a short walk on the nature trail...

Played with some sticks...

Took a walk in the neighborhood...

Fed all the ducks and geese...

The ducks and geese showed off their babies...

and Brice walked Maggie.

It was a perfect weekend.

Bonding With Baby

How soon will we bond with our baby? I wonder if he will feel like ours immediately? These were questions Brian and I asked ourselves as the birth of our oldest son approached. I think these are normal questions prospective adoptive parents ask. Adoption is an experience you can attempt to explain but cannot be completely understood until you have experienced it. You have so many emotions, questions, concerns; it is a rollercoaster ride of emotions.


We asked ourselves these questions and the answers were immediate. As Brice's bassinet was wheeled into the nursery, we looked down at him and he was ours. I do not know how to explain our feelings, but we knew he was our son. With Rogan, I was in the delivery room, so I experienced his birth with his birth family. Rogan was whisked away to the NICU because he was premature. As soon as we were able to hold him in the NICU we did and the bond was instant. I believe our bond with Brice and Rogan began prior to their birth. We created an emotional attachment to them before we ever laid eyes on them.

I believe bonding for adoptive parents often happens this way. We bond before we even realize we have bonded. An emotional bond is created to a baby we haven't even met yet. As soon as we see them for the first time our bond with them is spontaneous. Sometimes, even in biological parents, this spontaneous feeling does not occur and that is completely normal. In order to encourage bonding I would recommend the following:

1. Be in the nursery with your child holding them as often as you can. Sometimes holding your baby can be delayed due to adoption paperwork. We encountered this with Brice; we could not hold him for an hour. It was the longest hour of our life, but as soon as we received the green light he was in our arms. Until we were given permission, we stood by his bassinet holding his little hand and talking too him, introducing ourselves to him.

2. Find out the child's feeding schedule and be there to feed them. We fed our kids almost every bottle they had while in the hospital. We would have been there during the midnight feedings too, if we would have been allowed.

3. Change their diapers and give them their sponge bath if possible. There is nothing like being peed on or pooped on to force a bond between baby and parents :). If you have never bathed a baby before, having a nurse nearby is a great way to learn. They can teach you how to bathe them properly and how to care for their umbilical cord and/or circumcision wounds.

4. Talk to your baby, sing to them, and rock them. It is important to let family members and friends meet your baby, but you have to make sure you get time with your child alone. Sometimes, that means excusing yourself and your baby to go to another room and be alone for awhile. You may have to limit introductions, get to know your baby, before introducing him/her to others.

We were able to be with our kids in the hospital and to take them home from the hospital. This is not always the case. Sometimes, babies must go to foster care before placement or you may be adopting an older child. There are many factors that may slow down the bonding process for adoptive parents. It is important to be aware of the obstacles you may face and to prepare for them. The attachment process is different for everyone and it takes time. Be patient, take the time needed, and trust in the bond you will form with your child will last forever.

**Again, I am not an expert. My blog postings are derived from personal experience with the adoptions of our boys. These are my thoughts, feelings and opinions, take them or leave them.

And the winner is...

Mandy Jo! Thanks for entering everyone and I will have another giveaway very soon so make sure and check my blog often.


Mandy Jo please send me an email with your mailing address so I can send you your cute new bracelet!

Thank You!

Thanks to everyone who participated in my first giveaway by commenting, blogging and joining me on Facebook. I read all your emails, comments and blogs. I will announce a winner tomorrow. I received additional items today for more giveaways...stay tuned

My First Giveaway!

It's finally here, I'm so excited! My very first giveaway!

I am going to giveaway a Compass Bracelet from Things Remembered. This 7.5" toggle bracelet features a working compass charm and a "Follow Your Dreams" charm. The bottom of the compass is engraveable.
Things Remembered is a wonderful place to shop when you are looking for the perfect personalized gifts. Things Remembered has excellent gifts for birthparents!


Don't miss your chance to win this inspirational bracelet. I want to give everyone multiple chances to win so make sure to do all of the following:

1. Leave a comment on this post!

2. Blog about this giveaway and link it back to Adoptive Momma of Two. Make sure and send me the link!

3. Become a follower of Adoptive Momma of Two.

4. Join me on Facebook...join the group Adoptive Mommas!


I will pick a random winner using Random.org on Friday, 8/21/09 No entries after 5 p.m. Thursday, 8/20/09.

Good Luck!!

Griswolds Go For A Walk

We decided to take a walk around the neighborhood last night. It is a production to get us all out the door. Backpacks, dog leashes, cameras...geesh! After all that work, we only made it to the end of our street before Brice decided he was too tired to walk the dog or himself. He had to be carried home. I'm sure if the neighbors were watching, they had a good laugh. It took us longer to prepare than it did to make our round trip. I got a few good pictures and a good laugh out of it.

This picture of Rogan was from earlier in the day and has nothing to do with this blog post. It was just so cute, I had to include it.

Check List for Adoptive Parents

As prospective parents, my husband and I had never before prepared a nursery. In fact, the first time I shopped the baby superstore in our town, I wandered around feeling completely out of place and overwhelmed. I left without buying a single item.

Fortunately, in our adoption packet of information our agency provided a helpful Check List for Prospective Parents. The list contained many must have items and few nice to have items. The list is divided into sections and was very helpful when I began shopping for the items we needed for our new baby. I'd like to share this helpful list with you. Of course, after bringing home two babies, I've added a few items, a few notes, and changed a couple of things around. I hope you find this list helpful...
Furniture

• Crib- We chose a convertible crib to grow with baby
• Crib Mattress
• Portable Crib/Pack and Play- We used this crib in our room until the baby was ready to move into the nursery. Also great for hotel rooms if you have to wait on paperwork before heading home with your baby.
• Changing Table

Safety

• Health Care Kit- Packets usually include nail care kit, aspirator, thermometer, etc.
• Baby Monitors- You will feel more comfortable being in another room while baby is sleeping if you have one with you.
• Night Light- To keep you from stumbling in the middle of the night.

Bedding

• Receiving Blankets
• Waterproof Mattress Pad
• Crib Sheets and Portable Crib Sheets
• Boppy Pillow- Boppy pillows are advertised for breastfeeding, but are helpful for bottle feeding too. Baby will use the Boppy for play and sitting too. Make sure to have extra Boppy Pillow Covers!

Clothing

• Onesies- You can never have enough.
• Sleepers- The Sleeper Sacks are best for changing diapers in the middle of the night. I'd always recommend zippers over snaps; they are much easier to use in the middle of the night.
• An outfit to come home from the hospital in...this is something you'll keep forever, pick out something cute.

Diaper Needs

• Diapers- Disposable or Cloth whatever you chose. When buying disposable, do not buy too many size newborn diapers...they grow out of these very quickly. Size 1 is usually a better option.
• Diaper Bag- The hospital will probably give you one, but it will be very basic.
• Diaper Pail- Totally optional, but we loved the Diaper Genie and think you will too!
• Diaper Pail Refills- You never want to run out.
• Diaper Rash Ointment- Our favorite is Triple Paste. It's a little more expensive but works every time.

Feeding

• 4 oz bottles- For newborns
• 8 oz bottles
• Nipples- Slow flow for newborns
• Cloth Diapers- Use as burp cloths. They are cheap, come in large packets, wash easily and make great dust rags when you no longer need them.
• Pacifiers- These come in different sizes too, make sure to buy size 0-3 months
• Bottle Brush, Dishwasher Basket, Bottle Drying Rack- You will wash a lot of bottles.

Equipment

• Carrier/Sling- We liked the Baby Bjorn. I tried the cheaper versions, but they were not the same and caused backaches.
• Infant Care Seat Carrier- I liked the car seat/stroller combos. It is cheaper to buy the set. You may want to purchase an extra base to use in a second car.
• Stroller- Again, you may want to buy the set that includes the infant car seat carrier.

Bath

• Baby Bath Tub- Not necessary, but so much easier.
• Baby Wash Cloths and Hooded Towels- So much softer on baby's skin.
• Baby Shampoo

Notes
You will always find a lot more items that you may or may not need, the items listed are the bare essentials. As your baby grows, you will find you always need something. Save some of the want items for your baby registry!
Formula- You will want to wait and see what the hospital is feeding your baby. Your baby may have special formula needs. The hospital will probably send you home with formula to get you through a day or two, if not, do not be afraid to ask for some.
Car Seats- Safety requirements are always changing. I would check the American Academy of Pediatrics website for the latest information and standards. www.aap.org/family/carseatguide.htm
Cribs- Safety is always a concern when choosing a crib. Visit the American Academy of Pediatrics website for a complete safety checklist. www.aap.org/family/inffurn.htm
Recalls- Recalls are always happening and are impossible to keep up with; I like to refer to www.parents.com or www.aap.org for the latest information and news.

Tapestry Books

Tapestry Books is your best resource for books, videos, and articles about adoption. We were required to read books about adoption to fulfill our adoption application. If you are looking for adoption resources or want to purchase a few books to read to your child to help them to understand adoption Tapestry Books will be very helpful to you. We would recommend The Mulberry Bird and Did My First Mother Love Me? two books we have for our children.

The Gift of LIfe

I didn't give you the gift of life,
But in my heart I know.
The love I feel is deep and real,
As if it had been so.

For us to have each other
Is like a dream come true!
No, I didn't give you
The gift of life,
Life gave me the gift of you.

~Author Unknown
www.karensadoptionlinks.com

Just Us

About a month ago, I got an idea to start a blog about adoption. So far, so good. I have received a lot of emails and positive comments about my blog. I even have a few followers...thank you for taking an interest! I thought I should write a short post about us and introduce my family to all of you I've meet through this blog. Anna, that's me...I'm a stay at home mom. I never imagined myself being a full time mom. When I was little I thought I would grow up to be a softball coach. I have a degree in physical education, although I have never used it. When our son Brice was born, I held him for the first time when he was just hours old, looked at my husband and told him I didn't think I would be going back to work. I could never imagine someone else spending their days with my kids. My favorite activities are of course spending time with my family, fishing, hiking, and being outside. I met my husband in the 5th grade, he used to hang out with his friends next to my locker and annoy me. We have been annoying each other since then. We grew up in the same small town and have seen each other almost everyday since we were 10 years old. We began dating when we were 16 and married when we were 23. We dated others but always came back to each other, I guess we were meant to be. We've been married almost 10 years now and it seems like only yesterday we were going to prom together or carpooling to college. Time flies.

Brian, he's my handsome bearded husband and best friend. He is a great dad to our boys. He doesn't think twice about changing a diaper, giving the kids a bath, or picking up toys. He works hard everyday so I don't have to. He loves to hear about our daily adventures at the park, zoo, pool, Bass Pro, or just hanging out at home. He went to law school and managed to graduate and pass the bar exam all while being a newlywed. He's got a great sense of humor and everyone who meets him likes him. He's been known to hike up mountains while carrying a child on his back, he loves to grill, go camping, fishing and root for the Missouri Tigers. He loves driving vacations and sometimes channels Clark Griswold.

Brice, is our oldest son. He's 3 soon to be 4 years old. He fears nothing and makes our hearts skip a beat on a regular basis. He loves snakes, dinosaurs, sea creatures, and rough housing. He's probably the most stubborn child I've ever known, but we wouldn't change a thing about him. He runs everywhere, I mean this literally. He never crawled as a toddler and only walked for one week. He has run everywhere since then. He can't move fast enough. He likes to climb, swing on his play set, swim, and play with his dog Maggie. He loves pudding and would eat it all day long if we allowed it. He is a good big brother and likes to show off for his little brother.

Rogan is our 1 year old. He's the happiest kid you will ever meet. He wakes up with a smile on his face and if he's crying, something really must be wrong. He could spend all day watching his big brother. He does his best to keep up with his brother, but generally gets left behind. He likes to chew on everything and has recently started to get himself into mischief. He likes to be chased around the house and hides under tables and chairs. He giggles nonstop and is currently working on a mouth full of teeth. Maggie is our first adopted family member. Brian brought her home from the pound about 9 years ago and she's been the resident princess pea ever since. She's so patient with our ornery boys and lets them pull her ears and tail, drag her around the house by her collar, and doesn't seem to mind a bit.

That's us, now you know who you're dealing with.