The Call #2

The end of August 2007, we decided we were ready to adopt again.  Brice would be turning two the next month and we knew the adoption could take 1-2 years.  The process is sometimes longer when adopting a sibling.  We called Adoption Affiliates again and said we're ready, when can we start our home study?  The process is a little easier the second time.  You already know what to expect and what hoops you'll be jumping through.

We began to prepare to expand our family.  We redecorated the nursery and moved Brice into a larger room with a big bed.  He couldn't have been happier about getting a big boy bed; he had no idea a little sibling was going to be coming too.

January 11, 2008, we got our second call. Brian received the call this time at work.  I was excited we both were able to experience the emotions and excitement of "getting the call".  It is a rush, your mind cannot think straight.  Fortunately, Brian was in this time and not at an all day hearing.

Brian called me right away and said he had spoken to Jan at Adoption Affiliates and we had been chosen by a young couple who were due to have a boy on February 23rd.  We were scheduled to meet the birth parents in Texas on Saturday, January 25th.

Two weeks later, we packed up the SUV and headed south.  We arrived on Friday afternoon and spent the evening with Brice playing in the hotel pool and going out to eat.  We were scheduled to meet the birth parents at 11 a.m. the next morning.  The next day as the meeting time approached we received a call from Jan stating the birth father had to work and they needed to move the meeting back until 6:00 p.m.  We started to get a funny feeling about things, but thought we'll meet for dinner instead of lunch.  A little before 6:00 p.m. we arrived at the adoption agency with one very wound up toddler.

The birth parents were a little late, probably bad sign number two, but we shrugged it off and figured they were just nervous to meet us.  We were a little nervous too, but having been through the process before we kind of knew what to expect.  We all went out to eat dinner and Jan accompanied us to help keep the conversation flowing.  We spoke about our interests, our neighborhood, how Brian and I met, our families, etc.  I brought along a few pictures to give them an idea of what our house looked like, the nursery, our neighborhood playground and pool, and other things they would probably be wondering about.

They asked us questions but we noticed they had a hard time making eye contact.  Brian and I talked about how we each kind of got a funny feeling during dinner and thought maybe it was just nerves.  We discussed the possibility of them changing their minds. We were actually okay with any decision they made.  We only wanted what was best for the baby boy due the following month.  We knew it would hurt if they changed their minds, but they had to follow their hearts.  We felt we were blessed with Brice and if/when we became parents again we would be happy.

We continued to prepare for the baby's arrival and even picked out a name.  Brian left town on January 30th for business in North Carolina.  He would only be gone a couple days and when we spoke on the phone that night we talked about the anticipation of waiting for another baby and how hard it was.

The next morning around 11:00 a.m. I received a call from Jan.  She was so sorry but the birth parents had contacted her and said they had chosen a couple from their church to raise the baby.  They hadn't spoken to Jan or anyone at Adoption Affiliates about that even being a possibility.  Jan was as surprised as we were to hear of their decision.  I say we were surprised, but in our hearts I think we knew the night we had dinner with them they had already made another decision.  Apparently, when they phoned and moved our meeting back they were actually meeting with their minister and making plans for their baby to be raised by the couple from their church.  They knew when they met us and ate dinner with us they were not choosing us. We were upset but we knew our baby was out there waiting for us.