The Call

I've been asked several times what is it like to get "the call"? Well, we've received the call three times and each one was different and we experienced different feelings and emotions with each. I've decided to make this post a three part posting discussing each experience.

The call is what adoptive parents long for, our hearts ache while we wait for the phone to ring letting us know we've been chosen. The call is our water just broke moment. I think the first time we received the call it was kind of similar to parents who are giving birth for the first time. You are expecting it, but it still catches you off guard and everything that follows is complete chaos. It was a lot like that.

Our call for Brice came on Wednesday, August 31, 2005; I was working and had gone to lunch with my co-worker. While we were out eating the adoption agency had phoned me at work and left me a voicemail. I returned to my office after lunch, saw the blinking red light, and had a feeling I needed to check my voicemail immediately. Normally, when I came back from lunch, I would see the message light blinking and ignore it. Ignore it long enough to fix me something to drink, run to the restroom and prepare to spend the last half of the work day at my desk staring at the computer. For some reason, I felt I needed to check my voicemail first. I do not know why and I cannot explain it. I was not expecting an important call, except for that one of course. Brian and I had been waiting about five months when the call came.

The voicemail was from Jan at our adoption agency, she said very simply something along the lines of Anna and Brian I have good news, you have been chosen by a birth family and I would like to fax you their profile so you may review it and see if they would make a good match. My heart stopped, my stomach did a flip and I just stood there. I was shocked. I immediately called Brian, who was of course in court at an all day hearing. (Brian is a litigation attorney in case you didn't know.) Of course he was in court. It was only the most important day of our lives, but he was unavailable, perfect.

Second, I called Jan and said please fax the profile immediately. I stood by the fax machine and watched all of the 20 plus pages come through. I tried to read each line as the fax machine spit it out. I worked in a very small office, and my co-workers knew something was up, but I waited to tell them. I figured I should tell Brian before anyone else. You know, since he was about to be a dad and all.

I had left a message with Brian's secretary and told her it was an emergency and if/when Brian called to check in at the office please have him call me. She knew I never had "emergencies" so when Brian's boss who was also at the hearing phoned the office she told him to have Brian call me right away. I heard from Brian very soon thereafter and told him the good news. I read him the profile over the phone, we discussed it and I called Jan back and said we were very interested.

We then told everyone we knew, I called my parents, Brian called his parents, and I told my boss and friends at work. I got nothing else done that day, or the rest of the week actually. When I spoke to Jan she informed me Brice's birth mother was scheduled for a C-section on September 6th. We had a week.

The next few days became a mad scramble. I took leave from my work and expected to come back after my leave was over. I never did. I looked at Brice for the first time and then looked at Brian and said, I don't think I can leave him with anyone. I don't think I'm going back to work. Thankfully, he agreed and I've been a stay at home mommy ever since.

Brian and I had already planned a trip to Houston, TX for the weekend of September 3rd. We decided we would go ahead and go; it would be our last hoorah. We do not remember anything from that weekend. We were completely consumed with the thought of becoming parents. We remember we went to Houston, we watched the St. Louis Cardinals play the Astros and Brian bought a watch, which he still wears today. We remember nothing else, not even who won the ballgame. If you know us, you know we're pretty big Cardinals fans and that says a lot.

The agency told us the birth mother did not want us in the room for the delivery or at the hospital during his birth. We were fine with that. She was going to have very little time with him and we were getting the next 18 years, we would do whatever was asked of us.

After driving two days, we arrived at the hospital on September 7th. While on the road, Brice's maternal birth grandmother called us and told us he had arrived, he was perfectly healthy and baby and birth mother we doing well. We were allowed to see Brice on September 7th; he was not yet 24 hours old. We will never forget seeing the bassinet being wheeled to us in the nursery. We were not yet allowed to hold him or to take pictures of him. It was so hard not to pick him up and hug and kiss on him. I immediately pulled back his blanket and checked out his hands and feet. He didn't mind, he just curled up in his bassinet and held hands with us.

We met the birth family while we were at the hospital. It was somewhat awkward, but I believe a relief for everyone. We exchanged hugs, thank yous and shed tears. They signed paperwork to get us into the nursery to be able to hold and feed Brice. It was important to them we begin to bond with him immediately. We were able to hold him, feed him and change his diapers. We stayed in the nursery until they kicked us out each day. Brice was released two days after his birth.

I wrote in a journal during this time and I am thankful I did, some of the details get lost otherwise. Receiving the call is overwhelming, exhilarating and pure joy. Your life becomes a whirlwind and you begin to prepare yourselves to become parents.

Sept 8, 2005

Two days old

My first picture as a mom

Sept 8, 2005

Brian's first picture as a dad

Sept 8, 2005