The Waiting Period (originally posted 7/30/09)
It's hard not to get too excited during the adoption waiting period. You never know how long the wait will be so you have to be prepared for when you get the call. At the beginning of our adoption journey we attended the required seminar by our adoption agency. When we came home we started to prepare the nursery. We were so excited we could hardly stand it. We were told we would have a baby within a year or two and we needed to be ready. That's all I needed to hear!
My nesting abilities kicked into high gear. I couldn't get the nursery decorated soon enough. Our parents were worried we were in too big of a hurry and it would be painful for us to see the empty nursery every day. We appreciated their concern, but like always being the stubborn only children my husband and I are we forged ahead.
Within a few weeks we had everything we would ever need and more for a newborn baby. I had run all the onesies and blankets through a rinse cycle so they would be clean, soft and ready for when we got the call. I folded and refolded, I organized, and reorganized. I imagined what the crib would look like when our baby came home. We played with the baby monitors, "Can you hear me now? 10-4 over and out. This is soon to be baby momma signing off."
Then we waited. We got up every morning and went to the nursery. Brian would look at me and say, "Can you believe there is going to be a baby in here soon...our baby?" It was kind of hard to believe but we were ready and giddy with anticipation.
Luckily, our wait the first time was short, only five months. My advice to anyone in the waiting period is to keep yourself busy. Here are a few of my suggestions:
- Decorate the nursery and get familiar with everything. There are a lot of gadgets and gizmos and if you have them, you better know how to work them. You do not want to spend your time learning at 2:00 a.m. when the baby is fussing. Also, familiarize yourself with your local baby store.
- Take a trip with your spouse. Quality time together will fly out the window when baby comes spend as much time together now as you can.
- Keep a journal. This will be great to go back to after the adoption is complete and the waiting period seems like a life time ago. Also, your kids will enjoy reading it one day.
- Pick up a hobby old or new. If you like to garden, get back to it. If you have been meaning to get back in the gym...go you'll need the extra energy.
- Read some parenting books and adoption books. Get an idea of what lies ahead.
- Do some spring cleaning. After the baby is here there will be no time to wash windows, and deep clean the house.
- Complete a home project. We added on to our patio the summer before our son was born. We did the work ourselves, it gave us something to do every evening and kept our minds busy. Don't get yourselves in too deep, you want to be able to have it finished before you get the call.
- Organize your photos, you've been meaning to do it anyway and you probably just went through them all for your adoption portfolio.
Be patient, it's worth it.
"Adoption is not about finding children for families, it's about finding families for children" ~Joyce Maguire Pavao
3 comments:
Great suggestions! Before we added to our family -- every time (bio or adopted) -- we have had a "To do while we're waiting" list. Everytime I feel stressed, restless, or impatient, I work on the list. It has helped so much! I am currently working on crossing off a list, in fact. This time it's mostly organizing and decluttering each room and closet in the house, and doing a couple online photo books. :)
I know some families really focus on saving money and paying off debt during their wait. If they don't have debt, they save toward adoption legal fees.
The waiting period would be the hardest for me - I am so not patient!!
Good suggestions. We're taking yet another "big trip" this year since our wait is dragging on as well as keeping ourselves maxed out on activities/to do lists to keep from going crazy.
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