When you are not pregnant, it seems everyone else is. When you cannot have children, it seems everyone else can. When trying not to think about not being pregnant, you see pregnant ladies everywhere. At least that was how it was for me.
During our waiting period, I remember being invited to baby showers, finding out family members were expecting, my friends were having babies. I was jealous. Life didn't seem fair. How come everyone else could have babies?
The only answer I could come up with was this one...I was going to be a mother I just had to be patient and wait my turn. Not everyone has babies the old fashioned way, some of us take a different path to motherhood. A baby out there somewhere, needed me. This sort of became my mantra.
I was going to be a mom. The pregnant lady I saw in the store, could have been a birth mother. Maybe she was jealous of me? I was going to be given the opportunity to raise a child, to be a mom.
Attend your friend's baby shower and pay attention to what all she gets you may need it too. Go to the baby superstore and complete a registry after your baby arrives. We did. When you fill out the paperwork for your registry in the section "due date", write in their birth date. We even had post baby, baby showers. Our kids attended their own showers. There are no rules that say you have to be pregnant to have a baby registry or a baby shower.
You can do some of the things other expectant mothers get to do, it may just be on a little different timeline. When you are feeling jealous, remember a baby has been created just for you and they need you. Be thankful you missed out on the morning sickness, stretch marks, and labor pains...you're still going to be a mom.
6 comments:
:)! I loved this post.
When me and my siblings were born my parents had post baby baby showers. I really am enjoying your blog!
Thanks so much for your little blog. It's made me think in a different way . To try and move forward to fost adopt. That it will eventually happen. Your hole first paragraph described me . Any way Thanks.
I saw your post on adoption voices! Thanks for sharing!! It's great to know there are people out there with the same trials!
Another great post! "I am going to be a mom" is what gets me through the day sometimes. And you're right we are lucky to avoid morning sickness, stretch marks, and all of the not so glamourous aspects of pregnancy. Being a mom is the true reward and goal!
I could have not said it any better myself!
this is a copy/paste from my personal blog cuz i thought it might be appropriate here as well:
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
sad moment
ah the beauty of birthmother emotions.....
so i was chatting with a friend on facebook and we were talking about pregnancy and adoption etc, and the convo turned to me making the comment:
'as great as it was to grow isaac, i envy ******. i doubt she feels the same.... at the end of the day SHE is the one who gets to kiss "our" baby.'
kinda sad, huh?
i wiped a few tears.
but im still thinking about it after the convo is over, hence this blog post.
one day... it'll be my turn to be the mom, one day.... and that poor child will get more kisses then it'll know what to do with!
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