Did his birth father have dimples? His birth mother did not. Where does he get those long eyelashes? Does his biological sibling wonder where he is? Will they ever meet?
I wonder these things sometimes. As an adoptive parent you know they did not get their physical traits from you. Their sense of humor and temperament is that inherited or environmental? I am leaning toward environmental on the sense of humor. Brice's sense of humor is a lot like ours, we are not sure that is a good thing.
I think it is normal to wonder. My boys will probably wonder too. Someday they are going to want to know who they look like and if they take after anyone in their biological families. We have some background information from questionnaires their birth parents completed. The questionnaires ask questions such as what are their hobbies, favorite foods, likes and dislikes. The boys will probably be interested in reviewing this information at some point, when they begin to get curious. We are fortunate to have any information to give them, many adoptive families do not. Our agency provided these questionnaires, we are glad they did we never would have thought to ask. If your adoption is not open you may want to attempt to get some background and social information, your child will probably appreciate it someday.
4 comments:
I think that questionnaire was a great idea. The only questionnaire I filled out was about health background, and that was like 10 pages long, and I could only fill in the info about my family, so they don't know anything about his bio father. I did write a letter to him, explaining the circumstances behind why I decided what I did. I told him about me, and about his bio dad, and when I get my update I usually send them one back.
I think it is normal to wonder those things. I wonder how he will turn out! I think as a bio mom I wonder some different things too. They sometimes turn into worries, and take over. But yea, that's another story!
The more information you can give or receive the better for the adoptee.They will have questions you can't answer and only reunion can sort those out.It's always normal for all to have these questions and want answers.
Once the professionals liked to believe the environment/genetic balance was 50/50 but we now know the genetic influence is far higher than that.Love, care, good parenting go a long way but can never take away the effects of adoption.Sounds as if you're really trying to do the best job you can, good wishes....
I think those same things! I love looking at my daughter and seeing her birthmothers eyes but I wonder is her silly sense of humor from her Bmom or us...how is her bio brother? Similar personality to our daughter or....
Anyways great post thanks!
I think it is so normal to wonder these things! It's one of the reasons it is so important to me to have an open ID donor too. I like knowing that if my child wanted to at 18 they could contact their bio dad. In the meantime though, I want to have as much information on hand as possible so that they can have those things to look at too. Just in case!
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