I am getting some great questions thanks to the new formspring.com box on my blog.
Here is one I received today I thought many of you might like to review.
It seems like your 2 previous adoptions were fairly fast. If you don't mind and it's not too personal I was wondering what your preferences where for a child. race, drug use, health... I think we all wonder what we can do to move our waiting period along?
I do not mind at all. Our adoptions did move rather quickly. We attribute that to we were younger than other adoptive parents profiled so maybe we were a little more "marketable". Possible, I don't know for sure.
We were not very selective on race, basically any Caucasian mix. It just so happened both of our boys are Caucasian and Hispanic. Drug use we were much more selective. We accepted minimal drinking, marijuana use in early stages of pregnancy most likely before pregnancy was known. Overall health, we were somewhat selective but even our own personal histories have cancer, diabetes, etc. We basically requested no schizophrenia and would discuss other mental health issues.
You can't do much to reduce your waiting unfortunately. Something will just "click" with a birth mother usually. One of our birth mothers said she picked us because of our dogs (among other things obviously). She always had dogs, liked our dogs, and wanted a family where her son would grow up with pets. She also liked that Brian and I had grown up together. Our other birth mother liked the longevity in all our family relationships (us and parents), no divorces. She also liked how much family we had around all the time and how involved they would be her son's life.
Our adoption social worker said, oftentimes birth mothers will pick someone who is living the life they had hoped to live.
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Excellent questions, I am enjoying answering them on my down time. Keep em' coming. If I receive a question others may benefit from I will most likely post it to my blog. I will not give away information about the person submitting the question.
2 comments:
Hi, just curious. I found your comment "not very selective, any caucasian mix." rather selective. I just wonder what led you to narrow your decision? We also adopted 2. They are also both caucasian, but we would have adopted a green baby. But, you seem to be such an advocate for inter-racial adoptions. So, I am just wondering.
I did not word my answer well. We are asked to check boxes. It is actually not very specific. There are only approx six choices. They do not list every possible combination. Possibly because the geographic location is majority caucasian and hispanic? That's just my guess. We do not limit to caucasian. Our sons are 1/2 hispanic.
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