Detecting Red Flags
Listed are areas of concern. They may or may not pertain to every situation, however they are red flags to consider. If you have any questions, please contact us.
Adoption Professionals/Facilitators/Adoption Advertising Co.
- Requests a large upfront fee and the rest are due upon the completion of an adoption.
- Has a flashy website with lots of information and does not have information about their staff, physical address or mission statement.
- Guarantees a placement in X amount of time.
- Sent you information several weeks ago and you did not receive it, the professional is surprised.
- Has not returned your phone calls as they have had a personal crisis.
- Promises you he/she will find you a baby.
- Sends out regular emails of available situations that need to be matched immediately.
- States they have no negative reports or references.
- Has been in business for a year and has successfully placed 100% of the time.
- Does not seek out their own potential expectant parents but uses others services and stacks fees.
- Seems to avoid face-to-face contact.
- Screams and yells at you and states you are the reason potential birth parent(s) has walked away from the match.
- Does not get proof of pregnancy nor verifies it, and does not get release of medical information prior to a match.
- Sets you up with a high-risk adoption.
- Tell you repeatedly to not worry about birth dad and his rights.
- Relocates the expectant moms they work with.
- Has expectant mom lie about birth dads where abouts.
Expectant Parent(s)
- Asks for money to be sent to them due to a crisis.
- Request a plane ticket or bus ticket so she can travel to your home and await delivery.
- Refuses counseling or to talk to your adoption professional.
- Refuses to consult with your attorney or agency.
- Refuses to name birth dad.
- Refuses to tell family or friends.
- Refuses to sign a medical release over to you or your adoption professional.
- Does not ask you questions about you, your home, or your family.
- States, “you are the family” with in the first contact.
- Seems to be dealing with one crisis after another. Much drama in her life.
- Is being kicked out of home, homeless shelter and needs money wired immediately.
- Keeps changing due date.
- Sends you ultrasound without a name on it or other verifying information.
- Insist on being the one who does the contacting.
- Refuses to give you or your adoption professional her/his contact information.
- Will only have contact with you over the net.
- Constantly needs money.
- Knows too much about adoption and how it works.
- Refuses or has a lot of excuses as to why she/he cannot utilize resources within their community.
- Does not tell her doctor about the adoption plan.
Prospective Adoptive Parent(s)
- They make demands instead of requests.
- Have no homestudy.Ask the adoptive couple who their homestudy was completed by. You call or have your attorney call to validate this information before you proceed to far into an adoption plan.
- Story changes in regards to what type of adoption they are looking for and how much contact they want after the baby is born
- Extremely desperate and says or does anything they can in order to get the expectant mom to match with them.
- Pressures you, belittles you, is disrespectful, or they have no concept of boundaries.
- Does not support counseling for the expectant mom. (some states require mandatory counseling).
- Tries to circumvent the laws or disregards expectant mom and dad's rights.
- Wants to put one of their names on the orginal birth certificate.
- Sends references to you but does not allow you to contact them.
- If you are being promised an open adoption but you are not allowed to have their physical address or home phone number.
2 comments:
very well said.
Awesome post!!
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