Generally your first step in the adoption process is completing a home study. The home study is anxiety inducing for hopeful adoptive parents. It was for us also. No matter how many times we were told it is really no big deal and do not worry, we were still nervous. Feeling nervous about your home study is perfectly normal.
Before our first visit, I cleaned and cleaned some more. I organized dresser drawers and closets. I must have thought the social worker conducting the home study was going conduct a serious inspection. She did not. In fact, we enjoyed her visits and learned from them.
She came to our home, sat down on the couch and talked with us. That was it...just talked. She did not walk around our home with white gloves and check for dust. Instead she was more interested in asking us about adoption and our plans for parenthood. She wanted to know why we chose to adopt. She did not want to see how neatly I had organized all the towels in the linen closet. Apparently, neat linen closets are not a prerequisite. Huh, go figure.
She did have some mandatory questions she had to ask but I hardly remember what they were so they must not have been too traumatic. I believe she asked us about discipline, our family's feelings on adoption, childcare, and how we planned to let our child know they were adopted. Nothing out of the ordinary or unexpected.
It is normal to get nervous and anxious about the home study. In our experience, the social worker is not visiting your home to keep you from adopting or to make the process harder for you. The social worker is visiting your home to make sure it is welcoming and your child will have a bed to sleep in, a clean home to live in, and a family who will surround them with love. If you are ready to adopt, I am quite certain you will pass your home study with flying colors. I will go ahead and tell you not to worry or to be nervous, but I know you will anyway. Afterward, I bet you say that was not so bad.
3 comments:
Hey, I follow you on twitter and this is my first response. We are in the process of adoption. The questions that you were asked in your home, is questions that we were asked at the adoption agency. Not sure when we will actually have our "home" visit. We are in the process of going through classes at the agency right now. Look forward to reading more of your story.
So true! We made our house white glove ready and instead she sat on the couch and talked to us about our marriage and how we were enjoying parenthood!
Part 2 is coming soon and I find myself nervous again even though I know its all gonna be ok!!!
Ours sat and talked to us but she did also walk around the house. Not a white glove inspection but checking for things like smoke detecters (spelling??) in each bedroom, fire extinguisher in kitchen, etc. Things that are required in the house by law, at least in TX. I didn't even clean for the 2nd visit!
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