I'm An Adoptee Also

This is my third post from an adoptee.  As I posted before here, I sent out messages to four people I know who are adopted and asked them to respond to some questions and give us their point of view on adoption.  If you missed the second post you can read it here.

A classmate I have known since grade school answers my questions.

34 year old female

1. How old were you when you were adopted?

Adopted at birth.
2. How were you told you had been adopted and at what age?

I don't remember.  I think I just always knew.
3. Were you ever spoken to in a negative way about being adopted by friends, classmates or family members?  Not that I recall.  Sometimes I'll hear people, even family members, make a comment that someone must have been adopted- and they mean it in a negative way- kind of like "they're not like us".  It's a dumb comment but sometimes I think the best response is "Thank goodness."  

4. How did you handle questions or comments about your adoption?

I don't remember a lot of questions or comments.  I think everyone I grew up with knew.  People in college didn't so I think I got a few more questions but it seems like there were more adopted people  at college.
5. Did you ever seek out your birth parent(s)? 

No...not yet but it frequently comes to mind.
6. Were your adoptive parents supportive of your decision to meet or to find your birth parent(s)?

The very few times it has ever come up they've said they would be but there are always comments made that make me think they think it is a bad idea...kind of a Pandora's box.  I'm honestly not sure my mom could handle it.
7. What made you want to find your birth parent(s) or to meet them?

Medical information, curiosity, and to say thank you for making the decision.

8. Has adoption affected you positively or negatively?

I guess positively...because I have the impression that if I hadn't been adopted I would have been raised by some poor teenage mother and that is typically viewed as negative.
9. Do you have siblings? Biological or adopted?

Two adopted siblings.
10. If you have adopted siblings, was it beneficial to have someone you could relate to?

Definitely.
11. Do you view adoption in a positive light?

Positive. Adoption seems to be the resolution of two different families "problems".
12. Would you like to adopt? Why?

Most of the time I think so.  It makes me sad to think that there are kids out there who don't have anyone dedicated to loving them their whole life.  However, sometimes I would just really like to see someone that has a resemblance to me.  I mean, what is that like?
13. Any advice for adoptive parents whose children may be experiencing negative feelings about being adopted?

Don't try to force "sunshine" on them.  Get to the root of the feelings.  And don't be afraid to take it to a qualified professional.  We often think we can solve our own problems but we rarely do.  We usually just say enough to sweep them under the rug until they become bigger problems.

14. What would be your number one piece of advice for adoptive parents?

Be fact based in all your adoption conversations.  Don't try to speculate on how your child feels or what they might encounter should they decide to seek their birth family and don't try to tell them how they should feel.  The only feelings you know and are qualified to speak on are your own.
15. Anything else you would like to share? Anything prospective adoptive parents or those who have already adopted should know?

All children have high points and low points, whether they were adopted or not.  Chalk them up to life, not adoption.